Trafika Europe 11 - Swiss Delights

stoneage (EXCERPTS) BY MARIELLA MEHR TRANSLATED BY ROGER RUSSI

for twentyfive years i have fought my way like a berserker through verbality in order to give words to the fear. the first five years i remained mute, trapped within the dull lack of contact. autism: to face the world and respond with silence to its message. today i see and feel the fear. ghoullike shapes, eyes, glinting black glassbeads, eyes like suctioncups, they penetrate me, until it gets cold and dark. then, contours of cripples, of monsters, blue cold about these contours, ice. i give the fear of little silvia to silvana, the tall one. still the wall between both is such an ugly gray as that which bars me from the view of the sky here in bruno’s belly, a plain firewall, insurmountable.

207