journal d'une transition

211

want to try and talk to the SAS people and persuade them to release materials and funds unconditionally… There is not as yet a real understanding between us but, at least, there is now respect. In the evening I go to Myrtle’s to fair up my letter, then to Piero and Gl’s to get from them the correct address and ask them to sign: it is all smiles, as if nothing had ever come between us…! *26-6-1979, Auroville: G.M is upset and a little desperate over our condition… But it seems to me that, until the aspiration has become so intense and integral in each of us and there is nothing else really that matters anymore, until that is realised, it is better to insist positively on the basics of harmony, honesty, faithfulness… … Miriam talks to me again of this work she wishes us to help her with, a video on “Savitri” with Udar reciting; she shows me the correspondence between Udar and D.V, and Udar’s report on Your vision of the US’s role in channelling money to Auroville, and of his role in it as an instrument… I feel a little… strange about it: the man is so ambiguous…! Mother, sorry, don’t be upset at me, I just have to acknowledge before You the way I feel! … John H comes in a hurry to say that Peter is having troubles with some villagers at the Pump-House; C.E and I go there at once: there is a thick confusion but no fight, only villagers, many of them, shouting and accusations flying. It seems that some cows have been chased out of the compound and, while milling through the gate, a smallish one had got knocked down and lay now unconscious, and the villagers were accusing the boy working there with Peter of having beaten it to death and already claiming Rupees 1,500/- for it…! Some of us then go, with most of the villagers, to meet with a headman, while we both stay behind and proceed to revive the cow: we make it breathe and empty the air out of its stomach and make it drink and caress it and pat it back into shape and upright on its legs. When they all return, they find it up and about and are all a little amazed – or embarrassed – and it all becomes funny and simple…! *27-6-1979, Auroville: This afternoon we met again in the office. Ruud and D.S have gone to Kishorilal and found him surprisingly willing to accept our conditions, that is, to buy the steel and send it to Matrimandir without strings attached, and to purchase more materials whenever needed against bills only… But Ruud and D.S themselves recommend that we only go for one first transaction as a trial, with the purchase pf the steel… … All these years it seemed that the opposites were for ever irreconcilable and that only the yielding of one to the other could heal or end the conflict… But today it appeared that the combining of all of our good-wills has allowed a simpler harmony to manifest and that we can genuinely agree with one another… It is not that one is overjoyed or excited with enthusiasm, but that there is a deeper sense of being on the track, of moving forward, with no one feeling excluded from it… … Later, G.M joins me here at home and tells me he has looked within himself for the reason why he was not fully satisfied, and found this: until such time when the SAS would channel all the monies directly through the “Envelopes”, there would not be the change we all need…