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“Does it matter?” I didn’t know the answer myself. I seized

him by the shoulders and kissed him on the mouth. The

sur- prise was so great that it took a minute before he

wrenched free and stepped back, gasping.

“Who are you? Are you police too?”

I pulled off my Santa hat and tore off the beard and

mustache. Petri gaped at me in disbelief.

“You’re a woman?! You have to be kidding. Are you the . . .

Did I meet you in the bar that time Milla was trying to get

away from her friend?”

“We may have met.”

“But Kanerva Hakkarainen isn’t your real name. At least, I

couldn’t find you on Facebook.”

“My name isn’t important.” I stepped closer to Petri again.

He reached out his hand and tried in vain to feel my shape

under the fat suit. We kissed again, and there was a

moment when I thought I’d go all the way and take the

man right there on the spot. Then I came to my senses and

pulled away from his embrace.

“Present distribution ends here. Time to head back to the

North Pole.”