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15

her home and disappear. I want to go to her place, but I

can’t make up my mind. I feel an incomprehensible fear.

I get a call from my village. My aunt has had a stroke. They

are letting all her relatives know. My cousin is crying, “I’m

washing the windows and making sure the house is clean

because they’re saying that there is no hope. I’m crying. I’m

letting everyone know because one of her eyes is open. She

is waiting, but we don’t know for whom. I wonder who

she’s waiting for? I’m letting everyone know. Let everyone

come and see her, so that her second eye closes too. I can’t

look at my one-eyed mother.”

I suddenly realize that my old lady must have also had a

stroke. My old lady is also looking out at the world through

one eye. One is closed, one is open. She is waiting too.

Waiting with one eye. For me. It is difficult for me to

imagine the existence of a single eyeball in that socket by

itself, rolling around, searching, yearning, crying, laughing.

I have to go. I dress quickly. To the lady’s house. She must

have had a stroke. See, that’s why she can’t get up, walk –

and some people come and go to see her. She is waiting for

me.

I go down the stairs, walk across the sidewalk, cross the

street, and I don’t get hit by a car, so I keep going. I pay

attention to the details around me so that later, much

much later, I would still recall them. A man exits from the

entrance to her building, a bag of garbage in his hand. I

enter the building and go up to the fifth floor. The stairs on