Escapees May June 2015 Demo

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| May/June 2015 |ESCAPEES .81
she gives you some sign she is willing
to proceed further. She may do this
by seeking you out at the campfire or
asking you over for coffee or to go
for a walk. She may need a little more
time to get over her hurt feelings and/
or to trust your good intentions.
If She is Not Interested
If she accompanies you for a walk
but is not interested in continuing
your friendship, you may need to take
a step back and revisit the original
conflict. Ask her if the disagreement
means you cannot be friends. You
may need to agree to disagree about
the issue you argued about. Once
you have decided that is an accept-
able solution, she may be able to see
that your friendship is important to
her as well. It is important in these
conversations to be patient and kind;
remember that each of you moves
through life at your own pace and you
may have simply reached this stage
ahead of her. She may catch up if you
can respect her process as well.
Make Amends
If there is something you did in the
previous conflict for which you owe
her an apology, such as name calling
or criticizing her or a loved one, for
example, apologize and make amends
to your friend. It is important to
take responsibility for our actions in
relationships. Only when this is done
can you move beyond the conflict and
renew your closeness.
Take Care of You
Repairing a relationship is hard work.
While it is usually worth the effort in
the end, while you are in the process
of this work, it can be discouraging
at times. Your self-esteem can take a
hit. Be sure to take care of yourself by
seeking support from others you know
you can count on (other friends, your
partner) for positive support. Be sure,
also, to give yourself a pat on the back
for the good work you are doing. You
will likely be rewarded by a return to
your previous close friendship.
Diane is a therapist in private practice who works extensively with
clients on stress management and relationship issues. She and
her family are also avid RVers. Her articles are meant to provide
information of a general nature and are not intended as specific
psychological advice or to take the place of consulting with a
health care professional.
Have a Question?
If you have a question about this article, or if you have a mental health issue
you would like to see Diane cover in Escapees magazine, you can contact her
by e-mail at
If It Doesn’t Work
If you’ve been patient and she has
responded by walking and talking
politely with you, but you can’t seem
to get back the closeness you once had
with your friend, you may need to let
it go. Some people have a hard time
letting go of past hurts and you are
probably not the first friend she has lost
because of this issue. At this point, you
can rest assured that you have done
everything you can to try to keep her as
a friend, but you may be better off put-
ting your efforts into new relationships.
It is a good idea to try to repair
a friendship after a falling out. You
were drawn together for a reason; you
likely share a number of interests,
including camping, and developed
a closeness because of the time you
spent together enjoying each other’s
company. If your friend is receptive to
renewing the relationship, your efforts
are rewarded.
If she is not, you can at least know
you have done all that you can to
preserve and maintain the relationship.
The ability to take responsibility for
our actions in a relationship, to make
amends and to work to improve a
friendship are qualities that make us
an even better friend. No matter what
happens, you can take pride in your
efforts. You are a true friend.
For more information call or e-mail:
800.829.3948 | 936.637.3444
Visit our webstie at
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