STACK November Issue 68

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STILL SMOKIN’
How have you changed since the
worldwide success of the first
Ted film?
TED: You know I don’t think
fame has changed me at all. I still
drink Bud Light, granted now it is
served in a golden chalice by Phun-
Li, my own personal Thai ladyboy.
But basically I still put my pants
on one leg at a time like everyone
else… I mean, if I wore pants that
last thing would be true. It’s always
been my mantra that it’s important
to stay humble. “Do you have
any weed?” is another one of my famous
mantras.
What did it take to get you to come back
for the sequel, Ted 2?
Are you calling me Ted 2? Oh, no you’re
referring to the film of the same name. Got it.
Well honestly, it took a great deal of money
for me to come back. Not because I want
the money, heavens no. I just wanted to
feel the commitment to the project on the
fiduciary side of things, if that makes sense.
It doesn’t? Damn.
What was it like teaming up again with
MarkWahlberg and Jessica Barth?
Well, being that they are the only actors
I’ve ever worked with professionally – I
don’t count Jean Claude Van Damme – it
was a welcome reunion. I’ve kind of taken
Mark under my wing, poor kid. He needed
the direction because his career has been a
little ‘eh’ lately. I told him the first thing he
should do is a Marky Mark and the Funky
Bunch reunion tour. At this point in his career,
he really needs to remind people where he
came from and give the people those ‘good
vibrations’ they’ve been dying for.
Having now been married in a movie,
what are your thoughts on marriage in
general?
I’m all for it. Sure some people call it ‘an
institution,’ in that it feels a prison from which
there is no escape. But I like the idea of
monogamy. I look forward to spending the
rest of my life making sweet love with the
same person, every night. Then soon after
that, every week, and then before you know
it, you’ll be lucky if you’re getting it once a
year for your birthday. But it’s romantic right?
First, I just need to find the perfect Mrs. Ted –
in about 20 years or so.
The rule of a successful
sequel is that bigger is
better; do you believe in
that film adage?
I think that rule applies to more
than just sequels, ya know. But
yeah, absolutely. And it’s definitely
true of Ted 2. I’m obviously a big
fan of my first movie, but we’ve
really pushed the boat out with
this one. This is our Empire Strikes
Back, our Temple of Doom, our
Aliens. We’ve got more laughs,
more cursing, more action; more
vulgarity... I’ll be seriously pissed if
we don’t get an Oscar nomination.
Had you ever thought about civil
rights before you got entangled in your
own case?
Of course man, I’m an American – we
learn about our racist past before we’re old
enough to even say the n-bomb. Which,
incidentally, I only ever do in an ironic sense
or when singing along to hip-hop. So, yeah,
I know about civil rights. I voted for Barack
Obama. I saw 12 Years a Slave. I listen to
Public Enemy. I have my share of white guilt,
okay?
Did you do a lot of research to prepare for
the court scenes?
You bet. However, I’m of the opinion
there’s nothing in the American justice
system that can’t be learned from watching
Law & Order. I don’t know why students
bother with Law School, when you can get it
all covered in 60 minutes of TV and still have
time for a bong and a beer. Well, that show
and Judge Judy.
In the new film, you visit Comic Con – how
did you find it? Do you have any secret,
nerdy pleasures?
That entire conference hall is one big nerdy
pleasure. Though some of the Dungeons and
Dragons dudes – they get a little intense for
me. But the cosplay girls, they
are my favourite – particularly
anyone who dresses as an
Ewok, especially Latara,
the cute lady one. The
thought of her got me
through many lonely nights
as a teenage cub.
visit FEATURE DVD&BD
18 NOVEMBER 2015
Everyone’s favourite potty-mouth teddy bear dishes the dirt on the stars
of TED 2 and explains why the sequel should be seen as the Empire
Strikes Back of Seth MacFarlane’s blockbuster comedy series.
M
I’ll be seriously
pissed if we don’t
get an Oscar
nomination
MarkWahlberg,Ted and
Amanda Seyfried