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Eternal India
encyclopedia
PEOPLE
(righteous rules of conduct),
Artha
(wealth and prosperity) and
Kama
(desire)
At the time of marriage, the brides father addresses the bride-
groom with the following words-
Dharme chaarthe cha kaame naathi charitavya tvayeyam
You shall not transgress her in the' attainment of Dharma,
Artha and Kama.
The bridegroom accepts the condition with these words:
Naaticharaami
I shall not transgress her in the matters of Dharma, Artha and
Kama.
The most important rite by which an orthodox Hindu marriage
becomes final and unalterable is
Saptapadi
rite (rite of seven
steps). In this rite, the bridegroom and the bride take seven steps
commencing from the western point, from her right foot, on seven
small heaps of rice placed to the north of the sacred fire. It is after
the seventh step that the bride gets transformed into a wife and the
bridegroom becomes a husband.
Svagothrad bhrashyate naaree vivaahaat saptame pade
On taking the seventh step a woman ceases to belong to her
Gothra
(family) of birth and acquires the
Gothra
of her husband.
Each religious community has its own rules regulating the se-
lection of marriage partners. This applies to Hindus as well as
Sikhs, Jains, Christians and Indian Muslims. There are defined en-
dogamous groups from which brides must be found and exogamous
groups in which marriages are discouraged. It is observed that
rules of endogamy and exogamy governing groups (castes) do not
imply opposition to each other. Many continue to support the
traditional marriage of people within caste and sub-caste milieu
and also retain clan differences.
In defining groups, the prohibition not only covers specific
jaathis
or sub-castes but also places and areas. In northern India one’s
own village is considered exogamous and North Indians marry in
villages 10 to 15 miles away. But in south India one's own village is
not considered exogamous and young men prefer to marry girls in
their own village.
The patrilineal joint family is an important exogamous unit
among Hindus in the north. In the south, marriages between certain
categories of existing relatives are permitted. Among the Tamil
Brahmins a girl is allowed to marry a younger brother of her mother
and among most south Indian castes the marriage of a boy with his
mother's brother's daughter or father's sister's daughter is allowed.
But a boy would not be allowed to marry his mother's sister's
daughter. Such a marriage would be considered incestous. Marriages
between relatives in the South has created marriage prospects for girls
who are not good looking. A girl's mother's brother or father's sister
would be under a positive obligation to see that she was married to his
or her own son.
In north India there is ban on marriages between blood rela-
tives. The South Indian practice of marriage between cross cousine
or uncles and nieces are regarded as incestus. This, together with
the ban on marriages within the village, means that the girl goes to
live among people with whom she is unfamiliar and also goes to live
in a completely new place. In the south where marriage often is a means
of reinforcing an already existing relationship, the girl is not suddenly
placed in an entirely new and unfamiliar environment.
It is by no means easy to keep a joint family as a going concern.
Everyone must be treated equally to avoid charges of favouritism.
If a man buys something for his wife or child, the others have a
share in it. All must contribute to the household purse. The joint
family requires a single, strong authority whose decisions are
accepted and followed.
There are myriad sources of stress. Conflicts may develop
between older and younger men as well as between wives of
brothers. Disproportionate contributions to the common purse can
lead to friction. Family members may fail to agree over spending
priorities.
The Nairs of Kerala have the matrilineal joint family called the
tarwad
which consists of a woman and her male and female de-
scendants — sons and daughters and the children of her daughters.
Relations by marriage find no room in it while certain blood rela-
tions — the children of the sons — are excluded and belong to the
tarwad
of their wives. The property of the
tarwad
is jointly owned
by all its male and female members. The
tarwad's
property is
managed by the eldest male member of the family who is known as
a
kamavan.
If the eldest male member is unable to act as
karnavan
due to ill health, the next senior male acts as
karnavan.
Partition of
the joint family property may take place with the consent of all the
members but if any member opposes the partition then the
tarwad
continues to be joint. When a
tarwad
becomes overcrowded it
often splits into smaller family units called
tavazhis.
Certain tensions and conflicts which are inevitable in the partri-
archal household are unknown in the
tarwad
where the woman
remains in her parental home and rarely meets her mother-in-law
and husband's sister. Under the matrilineal system a man become
a 'visiting husband' and was a stranger to his own children. He was
very close to the children of his sisters.
Under the pressures generated by modern employment pat-
terns, the
tarwad
of the Nairs is in the process of breaking down.
Matriliany is disappearing in the urban areas and exists only in the
rural areas of the Malabar districts of Kerala.
The matrilineal Nayars and patrilineal Nambudiris Brahmins of
Kerala were involved in a peculiar custom which is also disappear-
ing. The Nambudiri family is a patriarchal joint family. The eldest
son alone has the right to marry a girl from his caste. The younger
sons form alliances with Nair women who belong to matrilineal
households. These alliances were formerly not recognised as
marriages. As only one man, the eldest son, in each family could
marry the vast majority of Nambudiri girls remained unmarried. If a
man wanted to arrange the marriage of his sister he had to agree to
marry a daughter of the house into which she was being given as a
bride. Thus the eldest son often had more than one wife. As a
consequence of this custom which lead to the majority of Nambudiri
women remaining unmarried, the Nambudiri community became the
only one in the whole of India to show a decrease in population. The
Madras Nambudiri Act of 1933 permitted all the sons of a Nam-
budiri joint family to marry women of their own caste.
SELECTED REFERENCES
* S.N. Chopra,
India : An Area Study
. New Delhi 1971,
The Cultural
Heritage of India,
Vol II, Ramakrishna Mission Calcutta 1969.