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Ioana Pârvulescu

156

things will take place here.

Or perhaps I will never reach

you, although that would

not sadden me.

But look how I finally raise

my voice to the heavens,

and I pray for both you,

those afar, and for myself, I

pray here, to this silver icon,

within whose casing can be

seen with the naked eye

the head of a woman and

the smaller head of a child:

I pray for your health, your

welfare, and that you not

be punished, as I am. I pray

that you have an old age

as beautiful and soothing

as roses. I pray that, if you

hear a man’s voice, you will

understand. I pray out loud:

‘Thou, the Relentless, spare

us, spare me, release me

from this net in which I am

tangled, that I might find

a tear in the net and swim

into the open sea.’ I pray:

‘Merciful one, have mercy.’

One day, I am sure, I will

come to you somehow and

you will hear me again. I

don’t know why I am here,

in a church, in front of an

icon. I don’t know why I am

shut up here, in the frozen

silver of a world that I did

not wish for, just as you,

whatever you might say, are

from birth shut up as if in a

prison, as if in a buttery net

or as if in a birdcage, in a

world that you did not wish

for, did not know, and have

no way of controlling. You

thrash around in vain. We

are prisoners, condemned,

each in his own world, each

in his own solitude. Why

can you not see me? I am

fettered in the frozen silver

of the icon of a world that

perhaps no longer is. I try

to see you there, from the

picture frame of my present

day, and if you fall silent for

an instant, like the waters