GLR May June

OWELL

OT LONG AGO

, I wrote in these pages

about issues facing the Bangladesh

GLBT community (“Activism Strug-

gling to be Born,” Nov.-Dec. 2013), having

worked there for many years. When I returned

to the UK last year, I wondered how much

British Asians identified with these problems

and what others they have to deal with.

British Asians live between two worlds.

Most are second- or third-generation, born in

the UK rather than abroad. But much of their

cultural heritage is fixed firmly in India, Pak-

istan, or Bangladesh and is thus quite foreign

to Britain. Most still have family in Asia, and

some British Asian men will go back to marry

a woman chosen by their family and bring her

back to the UK. But in these countries of

South Asia, homosexuality is taboo, if not ac-

tually illegal. According to

The Sunday Times

last year, a recent poll in Pakistan found that

only two percent of the population believed

homosexuality should be accepted by society.

A Gallup poll in Britain in 2009 found that

none of the 500 British Muslims interviewed

believed that homosexuality was “morally ac-

ceptable.” In India, section 377—a law from

the days of British rule making homosexuality

illegal—was thrown out by a high court ruling

in 2009 but then reinstated by the Supreme

Court in 2013, leaving a trail of legal confu-

sion. Thus Asian Brits who are gay live in a

country that’s broadly tolerant but tend to

come from families and communities that

frown on their sexual orientation.

Not surprisingly, this leads to distress and

even psychological damage for many British

Asian GLBT people. Research by Dr. Rusi

Jaspal of the Department of Psychology at

Royal Holloway, University of London,

looked into the lives of gay British Asian men

of Pakistani origin and found that this divided

identity is a huge issue that can produce seri-

ous psychological problems, especially for

those trying to be gay and Muslim. Most of his

participants in interviews felt guilty and be-

lieved they were doing something wrong.

While some rejected their Islamic faith to rec-

oncile this contradiction, others struggled to

meld the two. Fear of physical violence and

even “honor killings” have led some to keep

their sexual orientation a secret.

But things are not all doom and gloom. Lit-

tle by little, gay British Asians are feeling

more confident and safer about coming out.

Slowly, this community is becoming more vis-

ible. I talked with three men who are active in

the UK with promoting acceptance of the gay

people in Asian society and awareness of the

issues of living between multiple cultures.

Bobby Tiwana (BT, below), with a Punjabi

Sikh background, is a cultural activist who

creates live performances and is currently pro-

ducing a play about same-sex love in Asian

communities. His work evolved out of a proj-

ect involving interviewing British Asian gays

and lesbians to record their story. This led to

his blog, Safar (which means “journey” in

Hindi), and to continuing work to demystify

taboos and make these stories culturally visi-

ble. Bobby’s partner, Dr. Abhi Shetty (AS), a

Hindu born in Bangalore who moved to the

UK ten years ago, is a consulting psychiatrist.

Khakan Qureshi (KQ), a Muslim, is the

founder of Finding a Voice, a Birmingham

group that meets in the heart of the city and

welcomes people of any faith, background,

or disability.

Ken Powell:

Bobby, why did you create the

Safar project and were you surprised by what

you heard?

BT:

I was inspired by a visit to Bangalore in

2011 when I met a group of educated, middle-

class gay men who had come out openly and

yet enjoyed good relationships with their fami-

lies. I wanted to see such openness in the UK.

I interviewed a number of GLBT people in

2012 because I felt the stories needed to be

heard, and Safar is part of this. Sowing the

seeds that “we exist” in the media is so impor-

tant. I found such a strong sense of survival

from the interviewees, of resilience, and of

making lives work. People need to see this. It

is important to create positive role models and

for gay British Asians to realize that even

holding hands with someone is activism.

There were many surprises. The single

largest group who contacted me were gay

Muslim women. I interviewed a couple of

women living together in Coventry—one is a

Sikh and the other a Muslim. Traditionally,

these are two completely separate communi-

ties yet they are in a relationship together and

living peacefully in the same street as the

Sikh’s family. Similarly, I met a Bangladeshi

Muslim woman wearing a hijab who talked of

liking blond women! We see a veiled woman

and imagine what she must be thinking, but

this woman turned that notion on its head.

KP:

We tend to think of Islam being against

homosexuality. Is it possible for gay British

Muslims to retain their faith? What about non-

Muslims?

KQ:

Of course, there are those in life who

give up the faith completely and seem to ac-

cept or acknowledge that being Muslim and

gay is not permissible in the Qu’ran. But there

are GLBT Muslim people who come together

in a charitable organization called Imaan,

based in London, for social activities, retreats,

conferences, and workshops in an attempt to

seek answers about how their sexual orienta-

tion fits in with Islam. In my own organization

we have Sikhs, Muslims, atheists, and agnos-

tics, and we discuss the problems of faith. The

key issues faced by gay Asians—and gay

Muslims in particular—concern the question

of how you can be both Muslim and gay, feel-

ings of guilt that one’s sexual desires are

“

haram

” (forbidden), and dual discrimination

of Islamophobia and homophobia.

BT:

Activities like going to the temple in the

Coming Out Twice: Gay and Asian in the UK

INTERNATIONAL SPECTRUM

The Gay & Lesbian Review

WORLDWIDE

to close.

Lawn-tennis

may have left one other trace. Nijinsky’s bal-

let

Jeux

(1913) has a tennis-playing threesome at its core.

Those dance historians aware of Mourey’s play have said point-

blank that there is no connection between it and Nijinsky’s cho-

reography. I’m not so sure. The music for the ballet was

commissioned by Claude Debussy. He and Mourey were

friends and collaborators, the former providing libretti and lyri-

cal texts for the latter. Nijinsky, on the look-out for subjects for

an up-to-date ballet, was attracted to tennis because of its up-

wards swinging movements. He also hoped to create gender

confusion by dancing in toe shoes; this idea was negated, al-

though in performance he did wear a red tie, international

badge of cruising males.

Debussy may, as a joke, have mentioned Mourey’s

Lawn-

tennis

to the impresario Sergei Diaghilev. We know that Di-

aghilev, with his homophilic predilections and fondness for

scandal, would have preferred the trio to be all male. Ultimately,

it was Nijinsky, who often chafed at Diaghilev’s playing “the

stronger,” who made the

ménage à trois

two women and a

youth. The ballet ends with the boy and one of the girls exiting

into the shrubbery. When the composer was presented with the

scenario, he boggled at the suggestiveness. He needed to have

his fee doubled before he undertook to compose the score. If

the depiction in a ballet of modern-day heterosexual “troilism”

(three-way sex) in a ballet could shock so cultured a person as

Debussy, two women pairing off would have been unthinkable.

Audiences still needed to be shielded from lesbian love.