8
By Dana Huepel
Executive Editor of
Illinois Issues
(Reprinted with permission from
Illinois Issues)
OK, children, today’s class is a lesson in problem
solving. We all know the state of Illinois owes a big
pot of money to its workers for their retirement
savings — as much as $100 billion — but it doesn’t
have enough to pay them. That’s our problem. So,
let’s make it fun and discuss it.
Does anyone know how much $100 billion is? Ty?
“It’s as much as all of the members of the Civic
Committee have in all their piggy banks.”
That’s a good guess, Ty, but it may be even more
than that. Patrick?
“It’s so much that the state won’t be able to take
care of poor people and chase bad guys and fix the
highways because every last cent will go to old state
workers unless we take some of it away from them.”
Well, that’s pretty dramatic, and there is some
debate about that. But I guess it is a possible
concern, so we’ll say, “Close enough” and move on.
Does anybody know who caused the pension
problem? Class?
“Not me!” “Not me, either!” “It wasn’t me!” “I didn’t
do it!” “It was Mike!” “No, it wasn’t, it was Rod!”
Let’s not all speak at once. John?
“Well, technically, it was mostly bad legislators
and bad governors who skipped payments to the
workers, but it doesn’t really matter because now
there’s a problem and we have to solve it.”
That’s mostly accurate, John. Now, how do you
propose we do that?
“First, I think we should ask the workers how
much they’re willing to give up, and then find out how
much more we need.”
OK, John, that’s one way. Anybody else? Mike?
“I think we should just take what we need from the
workers and beat them up if they object.”
Well, Mike, that’s pretty drastic, but I guess it
might work, too. Patrick?
“Most of all, I just think it should be done
somehow, and none of us should get any candy until
it’s done. And when it’s finally done, I think I should
get an A because I told everybody to do it, and then I
should be re-elected class president!”
Patrick, that would be taking credit for others’
work. You know we don’t do that. And the rules of this
class don’t allow the president to withhold candy to
make everyone else bend to his will.
“I think I found a way around the rules. Besides,
Mike and John told me they wouldn’t give the workers
more candy even if I promised it to them, so there!”
This is getting a little contentious. I think we might
need to appoint some classroom judges to help us
decide some of these sticky issues. Yes, Mike?
“I’ll pick the judges! I’ll pick the judges!”
OK, Mike, since you were the first to volunteer for
that responsibility. But we’ll have to wait awhile on
that. Anyone else? Ty?
“What if I went and said bad things about the
class to the other teachers, and then they’d give
everyone bad grades, and then everyone would have
to take everything from the workers so they could get
good grades again, and then everybody would be
happy, except the workers, but that’s OK.”
Nobody likes a tattletale, Ty. … Yes, Kwame, you
keep raising your hand.
“I can’t get Patrick and John and Mike to stop
throwing spitballs at each other long enough to talk
with me about the problem.”
Thank you, Kwame. I know you’re trying. Elaine,
you, too. Now, you three boys settle down!! We
haven’t heard from the rest of the class. Who else
wants to contribute? Yes, John Q.?
“I asked around, and two-thirds of us agree with
(Continued on page 9)
A group of children tries to solve
grown‐up problem of pension reform
