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THE FLOWING BOWL
were occasionally handed up to him by the usher,
for reference, slipped from his grasp, and docu
mentary testimony flew all over the counsels'
wigs. At length the notice of the judge was
attracted to the state of things.
"What is the matter with that witness.?"
asked his lordship. " Is he trifling with the
court ? "
"M'lord," said counsel for the plaintiff, "I
am instructed that the witness is what may be
called a free-liver, and that it is often necessary
for him toswallow a dram in the morning, before
proceeding to business. I am also instructed
that the witness overslept himself this morning,
and had no time to procure the necessary dose,
before appearing as a witness before your lord
ship."
"Tut, tut!" exclaimed the judge. "This
is wasting the time of the court. Let him be
removed at once to the waiting-room and dosed
with old brandy."
He was a practical judge ; and in five minutes'
time that accountant had pulled himself together.
And an even more painful case than the
above is within my memory. A certain news
paper-proprietor was in the habit of paying the
weekly wages of his staff himself, each member
having to sign a receipt for the reward of merit.
The fashion - editor — a hardened libertine —
turned up one Saturday, before his chief,
absolutely incapable of signing his name, or any
part of it. His gait was all right, as was his
speech ; but the pen slipped through his fingers
as though it had been a well-oiled icicle. The