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147

Two Tales

So that God forbid I wouldn’t

stink of horse. It might

happen that I could start to

stink of horse. But that’s not

such a deadly stench. I have

to even admit that I love the

odor of a horse. It’s pleasant.

But when it’s equine, and

not human. A human smells

of a human, humanity,

humanness.

If I suddenly began to stink

of horse, then a lot of my

friends would instantly recoil

from me. At first they would

show their disgust, but all

the same later they wouldn’t

be able to deal with it. I

understand – it’s difficult to

deal with that. First of all,

it’s hard to conceive that for

someone whom you have

known since childhood a tail

suddenly appears, and not

just any kind, but a horse’s.

I think that of all the tails

out there, the horse’s is the

best. The most elegant. Lord,

make it so, for me to grow a

real horse’s tail! One that I

could move the way I move

my legs and arms, sometimes

consciously,

sometimes

unconsciously, well, the way

it is with legs and arms.

I understand the degree

to which my desire is

unnatural. Because I could

desire something different,

something more human.

Money, eternal love, grateful

children, good neighbors,

the respect of society,

maybe even the recognition

of society – fame. But no. I

don’t want any such thing,

though I don’t have it. I want

a tail.

When I was little I often

thought that it’ll grow out of

my tailbone, and it seemed

that it, like a hump on my

back, was growing bigger. At

six I hit my tailbone against