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GAZETTE
J ULY / AUGUST 1983
the vital 'support services'. New technology is constantly
arriving and the spirit of inter-firm competition is such
that no rival can be allowed to gain the slightest
advantage in this area (not easy when the latest word
processing equipment will be obsolete in six months).
Already the word processor is standard, a boon to
fastidious attorneys who may require as many as twenty
drafts of a single client letter (the abolition of typist's
cramp, however, has brought word processor operator's
blindness in its wake, since the work always expands to
fill the machine capacity available). Legal research is
speeded by the 'Lexis' system, a computerized treasury
of all current federal and state law. Even as the attorney
is interviewing a client, he can use his desk-top Lexis
terminal to call up the latest law on any given problem -
type in a request for 'all cases on contributory neglig-
ence decided by Judge Doe in 1982', and the cute little
machine obliges (at enormous cost, I might add). All
client billing is also computerized. Instead of the rather
quaint 'bill of costs' supplied by an Irish solicitor, the
Wall Street corporate client receives a lengthy computer
printout detailing hour-by-hour what the attorneys have
been doing on its behalf. Filling out timesheets (using a
special computer code which requires full-stops
before
the abbreviation— prep .lgl .memo on .q of .pit's .elm)
was by common agreement the most aggravating activity
in a busy legal week. One senior litigation associate
billed 27 hours for one day in September, thereby
confirming the impression I had formed that New York
lawyers have somehow broken the ancient laws of time
that govern lesser mortals (of course, lest any suspicion
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of sharp practice be aroused by my disclosure that a
Wall Street day can have 27 hours, true though that
often seems, I should quickly explain that the computer
accepts aggregations of more than one day's billing
which an attorney may for convenience assign to a
simple day!).
My work was divided between both sides of the
practice, but it was felt that as an intending barrister I
should spend my time principally with the litigators.
Judges were extremely courteous in welcoming me to
their courtrooms, readily giving permission to sit at
'counsel's table' and lamenting the loss of the wig and
gown and the awe that these Anglo-Irish accoutrements
supposedly inspire among the laity. At the federal court
in Brooklyn, I met one of the very few black judges on
the federal bench, who had plenty of time to show me
around his exquisitely appointed chambers, a riot of
plush leather and mahogany panelling, while his work
was being done by three beavering law clerks and a
spanking new Lexis terminal. The state court, where
leather and mahogany are as absent as wig and gown, is
not highly regarded. A visit to the Staten Island version
showed me that the suave word-wizardry of Wall Street
lawyers has a diametrical opposite in legal bush country.
The surprise of the hole in the opposing lawyer's
gleaming white trousers was exceeded only by the shock
of hearing him fumble the most elementary facts of his
brief. I did feel complimented that he chose to address
our side as 'learned counsel' rather than the customary
'Counsellor' or simply 'Mr'. That case, incidentally,
illustrated the crippling burden of costs in U.S. courts. It
was worth $10,000 to the client, but cost $12,500 to bring
to court. Amazingly, U.S. courts do not (unless
deliberate abuse of the legal process by your opponent
can be shown) award any costs to the winning side. It is
futile to venture into a Wall Street office with a case
worth less than $15,000 unless you persuade someone to
act on a contingent fee basis (the lawyer is paid only if he
wins the case) — a popular American practice which is
nevertheless regarded by Wall Street firms as smacking
of professionalism. T.V. advertising has helped the rise
of the so-called 'fast-food' law firms. One of them,
Jacoby Myers (which is actually known as the
McDona l d 's of U.S. law), was celebrating its tenth year
of existence last summer by urging viewers between bits
of the 'The Lucy Show' to get their divorces before
Oc t ober 1st and save 50% on normal fees.
CLE
To take their minds off the seriousness of working life,
U.S. lawyers can dip into the gossip-drenched pages of
their very own scandal sheet, 'The American Lawyer'. It
has instituted what it grandly calls the 'Ammy Awards'
for the best and worst annual performances by a lawyer
in each of a string of categories of practice — Best
Antitrust Lawyer (usually a Wall Street Preserve),
Worst Civil Rights Lawyer (also perhaps a Wall Street
preserve!), Best Criminal Defence Lawyer, Worst
Matrimonial Lawyer, and so forth. They can benefit also
from something that is sorely lacking in this jurisdiction
— continuing legal education, or CLE as it's called,
which the American Bar Association organizes on a
huge scale. I can hardly conceive of senior counsel in this
country taking time out to lecture the junior bar on their
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