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ablation
learned disillusionment on
the job and have reached
the stage where my serenity
is my real lifesaver. I remove
myself from the world and
wait for this to happen.
I l isten to the weather
without feeling concerned.
Showers at the end of
the day or foreshadowed
thunderstorms. Don’t go out
without an umbrella!... A
wet man is taken by surprise
by the rain while he goes
to meet up with a woman
that may not even show up.
Nothing is certain.
Some scattered showers
are predicted. I draw the
curtains. It ’s somber outside.
I know pain and suffering. I
feel that the slope is steep,
the suspected tendency. I
still have some serenity, also
some discernment.
Before the operation, the
hospital gave me a brochure
titled “Information for Before
Radical Prostatec tomy.”
It explained ever y thing
with i l lustrations to aid
understanding. It is lying
around on my desk so I reread
it for courage. In the section
about sexuality, it clarifies:
“The l ibido wi l l not be
modified by the operation.
Sexuality is not limited to
sexual acts. Treatments exist
today to treat sexual setback
from radical prostatectomy.”
OK, the only thing left is to be
optimistic and believe that
things will return to normal.
Yet, without a prostate, you
look at yourself differently.
You weigh both sides of
the situation. You imagine
unheard-of things. You no
longer master your anxieties
and fears. Be optimistic
and be confident… what a
challenge. I am not doing