with Sri Ganesh

perhaps, to let me do as I please...? Or else, perhaps I should have kept quiet, surrendered and not tried to understand or know what had happened, how this fraud could have taken place and who was the cheat...? I do not want to pass any moral judgment: after all it is not such a monstrous “crime” and in fact no serious harm was done to anyone, but to our friendship. And this for me is the issue: the duplicity, the betrayal of trust, the cunning, the choice of division and exploitation. And, so far, I can’t see how to proceed. Another part of this crisis, of course, is that it leaves me doubly crippled. For P. has been almost like a second body for years and our team work is what allowed me to continue managing things here, in Sincerity and in town, and I have presently no clue how to go on... For the time being, though, I feel to let him keep his keys to this place and continue his service on Sundays… I know that for most people, measures dictated by distrust are simply part of life and one simply must secure things with more locks and fences… but I have no interest in such a life…! Many times over the past years P. has heard me say that I would rather “leave” than accept lies and deceit in my personal life: he said yesterday that he was most scared of this and thus couldn’t bring himself to “confess” earlier, while he wouldn’t have minded if I had simply threatened to beat him up, would he ever lie to me… This particular exchange occurred a number of times between us over the years, because I would often get upset at him for hiding things from me… and promptly feel repentant and sorry to have doubted him and been unjust…! I don’t know. I have been a vain fool and now, with this new betrayal (is it the ordinary “karma”, meaning I would have been so deceitful and bloody-minded in past lives…?), it is as if I must face a new desert… Aum Namo Bhagavate… Lord, it is not a matter of “punishment”, but one of direction and process: what is the truest possible way forward, what is the surest way for a real progress…? This is the only kind of “redress” and “justice” that has a lasting meaning…

Neat and Bright And Sparkling Rich And Tender, As if on a journey With motionless speed, Sri Ganesh, You densely appear

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