

,
•'
SERIOUSLY
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I
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J
"Ship me somewhere east of the
U. S. A .,
Where the best is like the worst,
Where there ain't no prohibit·ion,
And a man can qt,ench a thirst."
-With apologies to Kipling.
A
E believe that this is the best book of ·its kind ever
published. It is more than a Home Bartender's
Guide and Song Book-it's the history of those good
old days when a man could get neuralgia in his good
right arm from holding cold glasses, without the kink
in his neck from peering over his shoulder for prohibition agents.
Every recipe and song in this book is authentic. We know-we
tested them. We also believe that every reference to each cocktail,
highball, etc., and etc., can be accepted
as
near the truth · as any
bootlegger's promise.
There may be
a
few recipes and songs that haven't come to our
attention.
If
so, we apologize. But we are willing to wager that
what we present here ·will suffice for any gathering on any evening.
In all fairness_ to yourself, we ask that you treasure this volume care–
fully.
That you keep it hidden safely under your favorite pillow,
or
behind your grandfather's clock, or even in your little wall safe.
For we have already learned that even your best friends won't tell
you where it has gone, if you chance to miss it some bright morn–
ing after.
We also believe that you owe us a vote of heart-fel t thanks for our
own experimental work in compiling this book. Many's the night,
and morning, we arrived home utterly fagged out, but nevertheless
supremely stimulated by the knowledge we had gained in proving
the methods of this ancient, aristocratic profession..
M ay you, too, some day, have the sagacity and the ability to undergo
what we have undergone, and blossom out as a full-fledged accredited
Home Bartender. And may the doctor let you out of the strait–
jacket
sooner
than he did us. .
THE
AUTHORS.
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