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SERIOUSLY

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"Ship me somewhere east of the

U. S. A .,

Where the best is like the worst,

Where there ain't no prohibit·ion,

And a man can qt,ench a thirst."

-With apologies to Kipling.

A

E believe that this is the best book of ·its kind ever

published. It is more than a Home Bartender's

Guide and Song Book-it's the history of those good

old days when a man could get neuralgia in his good

right arm from holding cold glasses, without the kink

in his neck from peering over his shoulder for prohibition agents.

Every recipe and song in this book is authentic. We know-we

tested them. We also believe that every reference to each cocktail,

highball, etc., and etc., can be accepted

as

near the truth · as any

bootlegger's promise.

There may be

a

few recipes and songs that haven't come to our

attention.

If

so, we apologize. But we are willing to wager that

what we present here ·will suffice for any gathering on any evening.

In all fairness_ to yourself, we ask that you treasure this volume care–

fully.

That you keep it hidden safely under your favorite pillow,

or

behind your grandfather's clock, or even in your little wall safe.

For we have already learned that even your best friends won't tell

you where it has gone, if you chance to miss it some bright morn–

ing after.

We also believe that you owe us a vote of heart-fel t thanks for our

own experimental work in compiling this book. Many's the night,

and morning, we arrived home utterly fagged out, but nevertheless

supremely stimulated by the knowledge we had gained in proving

the methods of this ancient, aristocratic profession..

M ay you, too, some day, have the sagacity and the ability to undergo

what we have undergone, and blossom out as a full-fledged accredited

Home Bartender. And may the doctor let you out of the strait–

jacket

sooner

than he did us. .

THE

AUTHORS.

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