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what could I say? There was a crazy man who is my “dad” yelling demands and threats at my mom.
I didn’t even think about the words before they spilled out of my mouth, “No you shouldn’t!”
I stood taller when I spoke, I felt on top of the world, I spent fourteen years of my life keeping quiet
and living in the shadows of fear. I felt like maybe I finally was living just by standing up to him. The
feeling only lasted a few seconds before his loud upset voice spoke making me feel like a turtle wanting
to crawl back into its shell.
“Oh yeah?” he stepped closer and closer to me, my heart raced as my nails dug further into my fists.
He got even closer to me, as my mom attempted to get between us so he wouldn’t harm me. He is a
big guy, and easily pushed my mom with one single arm so she couldn’t get to me, he then blocked
her away from me. I didn’t know what to do, he came closer, so I clenched my fists holding back tears
before the words spilled from my mouth.
“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” The words tasted sweet, but like a bitter poison at the same
time. I closed my eyes not wanting to see what he would do, I opened them just enough to see him
frozen in his step. I looked around a little more to see that my brother hadn’t moved; only feet away
from me still on his iPod as if the world around him froze. Within a few minutes of silence our “dad”
commanded my brother to follow him out the door as if my brother was a dog. He left with the slam of
the door and flowers laying on the floor.
My “dad” never did actually take into consideration or listen to the words I said. It’s been two,
almost three years since that experience. I was able to see that when I speak my mind I was finally able
to live, and not under a shadow of fear. He thought that the cold January day would blow over, and my
words and feelings towards him would change. He had fourteen years to be a “great dad”, but he blew
it. Although this Daddy’s Little Girl has found her own voice, he still lives with the delusional fanta-
sy that someday he will get to see me. As time passes I grow and change into a better person. I have
learned so many lessons, like to stick up for myself, and to speak when I have something to say. Life is
what you make of it, I could take what I went through and feel bad about life, or look on it as a lesson
that may have been hard, but I made it through it and grew from it.
Elayne Fortris
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