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12 I NonprofitProfessionalPerformance Magazine
Afew special considerations are
needed to promote forgiveness
in churches and nonprofits. American
churches are voluntary organizations
that are highly dependent on beliefs
and values, existing in a market where
people usually have many choices.Those
choices can be circumscribed in small towns
or, for denominationally committed believers,
in geographical areas that are not represented
by many denominations.
Nonprofits usually pay employees for their
work, thus tying people economically to
the organization. It is often harder to leave
a nonprofit than for most people to leave a
church. Still, boundaries are less confining
than in most for-profit businesses.Nonprofits
also tend to be more cause-driven than
most for-profit businesses, making beliefs
and values more important than in typical
businesses.
Voluntary membership and greater salience
of beliefs and values matter.Ease of dissolving
one’s church or work identity makes it
important for leaders and members to treat
people more gently, invite more participation,
respect individual contributions, let people
know their contributions are respected,
and seek to repair breeches in relationships
quickly before an offended person leaves.
Greater salience of beliefs and values
means that organizational goals, priorities,
missions, beliefs and values must be couched
more toward inclusiveness than in other
organizations.
Social psychology tells us that people who
are similar to each other tend to focus on
small differences. In dissimilar out-groups,
people tend not to perceive small differences
in beliefs and values between themselves
and others. Thus, more conflict happens over
smaller differences in beliefs and values in
cause-driven nonprofits and churches than in
larger for-profit businesses.
People most often leave jobs and churches
because of interpersonal conflict or offense,
rather than continually experiencing negative
emotions. The lack of forgiveness and
reconciliation make the work environment
unpleasant.
Thus, in churches and nonprofits, forgiveness
is doubly important. Here are some
forgiveness-relevant guidelines for leaders
and members.
• Frequently solicit ideas, opinions,
participation, and feedback, and treat
them respectfully.
• When rejecting suggestions or
contributions, let people know (effusively)
that they are respected, loved, and
included. Search for something to accept
while you reject the idea or contribution,
so the person feels valued.
• Be proactive. Anticipate potential
controversial contributions, and provide
your own suggestions of what would be
acceptable. Avoid, if possible, saying what
would not be acceptable.
• Establish a culture of forgiveness. Help
people make decisions to forgive and
wrestle through their resentments
to achieve emotional forgiveness.
• Establish a culture of reconciliation
so that people will engage parties
with whom they have differences
and try to work out hurts, conflicts,
and differences.
• Help people know the differences among
forgiveness (an internal act putting aside
future negative behavior, emotions, and
motives), communicating forgiveness
(people can say, “I forgive you” and not
forgive), and reconciliation (a process of
rebuilding trust).
• Don’t treat forgiveness as strictly will-
power. It is a skill.
• Help people build their ability to exercise
that skill.
• Provide resources that can promote self-
forgiveness , forgiveness
of others (EvWorthington-forgiveness.
com), and reconciliation.
Just because they share similar pro-forgiveness
and pro-reconciliation beliefs and values,
people in churches or nonprofits are not
immune to offending or misunderstanding
each other. Just because they value forgiveness
and reconciliation does not mean that they
are experts at each. As a leader, you can help.
Everett L. Worthington, Jr., PhD, is Professor of
Psychology and Director of Training in Counseling
Psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University. He
studied forgiveness in secular and religious populations
for over 20 years, and for 7 years he directed A
Campaign for Forgiveness Research, a nonprofit raising
money to support research in forgiveness.
Forgiveness in Churches and Nonprofits
Everett Worthington, Jr.