STACK March 2016 Issue 71

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n Diesel, like Dwayne Johnson, has the ability to make
u want to see a film for his presence alone. As star and
oducer of this horror-fantasy, Diesel keeps a straight
ce (and an eye on a potential franchise) as an immortal
itch hunter named Kaulder, who sniffs out dark magic in
esent day New York with the tenacity of a gumshoe on a
rd case. When a whiff of sorcery portends the return of
evil queen he despatched in the Middle Ages, Kaulder,
ng with sidekick Elijah Wood and flame-haired young
witch Rose ("You know nothing Jon Snow") Leslie, races to
stop her resurrection and a deadly plague being unleashed. An entertaining
mash-up of Constantine and Highlander, or an episode of Buffy on steroids,
The Last Witch Hunter ostensibly resembles fantasy misfires like Priest and
Seventh Son, but it's much more fun – and has Michael Caine, too. SH
The chronicles of Kaulder
THE LAST WITCH HUNTER
Release Date: 03/03/16 Format:
ou just can’t get enough of that Christmassy stuff
n listen up – even if it is only March. The Night Before
olves around three New York City blokes (Joseph
rdon-Levitt, Seth Rogen and Anthony Mackie) who’ve
n mates for years. They’ve now hit their 30s, with
a lawyer, one an NFL star and one, erm, a seasonal
re elf. They’ve decided that this will be their last big
ristmas blowout, and score tickets to the legendary
and beyond-exclusive Nutcracker Ball. It’s a night of drugs,
alcohol, drugs, debauchery, drugs, karaoke, drugs, dick
jokes and drugs – but with a dab of sweetness and light occasionally to
anchor it. Imagine Pineapple Express crashing A Very Harold & Kumar
Christmas with small injections of It’s a Wonderful Life and Home Alone –
plus really daggy jumpers. AF
Three wise men. One wild Christmas
The Night Before
Release Date: 03/03/16 Format:
e title tells you all you really need to know about this
ly zom-com. A trio of scouts Ben (Tye Sheridan), Carter
gan Miller) and Augie (Joey Morgan) find their camping
in the mountains rudely interrupted by a zombie
tbreak. Hightailing it back into town, they're joined by
exy barmaid, who helps them slice and dice their way
ough a horde of the living dead in order to get to a
rty and rescue Carter's sister, whom Ben has a crush
on. With the gag department located below the belt, the
real laughs come from the often creative bursts of gore,
and the inclusion of zombie strippers, pets and roadkill. It's the kind of
zombie movie Seth Rogen and James Franco would make if co-writer and
director John Landon hadn't beaten them to it. 14-year-old boys will hail
this as one of the greatest films ever made. SH
MTV meets The Walking Dead
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
Release Date: 09/03/16 Format:
After her eye-catching turns in Masters of Sex and Once
on a Time, Kiwi actress Rose McIver has deservedly
hieved her big break with the lead role in this sharp and
itty spin on the zombie formula. McIver plays a young
ctor who is bitten by a zombie during a massacre at
arty (subsequently hushed up by the authorities) and
akes up with a thirst for brains. Keeping her condition
cret, she takes a job at the morgue and starts helping
e police solve crimes; when she eats the brains of the
ceased she also absorbs their memories. Thanks to a
cool premise – it’s based on a DC Vertigo comic – and the involvement of
Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas, iZombie has more bite than network
stablemates like The Vampire Diaries, while its irreverent take on the living
dead makes for a breath fresh air. JF
Kicking ass and taking brains
izombie: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON
Release Date: 16/03/16 Format:
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