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Thursday, May 11, 2017

I AM very fortunate. I have a

happy life, a loving family,

caring friends and have

enjoyed a successful career.

Most people who know me would

describe me as a fun-loving

person who can be the life and

soul of the party.

However, I have hidden from

everybody in my life a mental

health issue that has troubled me

for over 30 years.

When I say everybody… I do

mean absolutely everybody.

I chose to suffer in silence

because I felt embarrassed to

admit my fears and was scared

that I would lose my job.

I felt that I would be looked at

differently, was embarrassed and

would be discriminated against

for not being ‘normal’.

I will never forget September 2,

1986, and describe it as one of the

worst days of my life.

I was helping to interview

somebody and suddenly became

so anxious I couldn’t breathe.

I pretended that I felt faint to

disguise what was really going

on and did exactly the same the

following day in similar

circumstances.

Little did I know then that I

would continue to mask and hide

similar feelings of anxiety for the

next 30 years.

On September 4, 1986 (only two

days later), I attended a

wonderful wedding with my

closest family and friends.

Their memory of me that day

would be of me acting the clown

and pretending to get out of a

swimming pool fully clothed.

My only memory of that day was

thinking that my promising

career was over at only 24 years

old and that I was going ‘mental’.

You just can’t tell by looking at

someone how they are feeling

inside.

The miserable-looking guy who

sits in the corner may be fine,

while the young lady with a

gorgeous smile may be thinking

that her life is no longer worth

living.

Back in 2004, a number of us

from

Auto Trader

went out

straight from work to watch an

England game in the Euros.

Our boss had put some money

behind the bar and I can

remember us all cheering

England to a rare victory.

What nobody noticed that

evening was the young lad who

decided to go home at half-time.

Young Ben didn’t turn up for

work the next day.

We never saw Ben again because

he chose to ‘hang himself ’ as life

was no longer bearable for him.

His closest colleagues were

shocked because he had been

laughing and joking only the day

before in the office.

How much must Ben have been

suffering inside?

Surrounded by many people but

he must have felt so very, very

alone.

I have been lucky that I have

never been anywhere near as

desperate as Ben must have been.

I have still thought of doing some

crazy things though.

I can still picture the roundabout

near Aylesbury in

Buckinghamshire where I

decided to crash my car into

another car on a roundabout

because it seemed a better option

than attending the meeting I was

going to.

I chose to not have that

deliberate accident and carried

on to my meeting, but this is the

point where some people

seriously self-harm themselves

or go even further.

I tried to get professional help

many years, but couldn’t find

anybody who I felt understood

my issues.

I discovered my own coping

mechanisms and, looking back

now, they have made me who I

am today.

From very early in my career I

have made all my touchpoints

with people very interactive.

This was not because I was the

pioneer of ‘engagement in the

workplace’ but because I was

fighting like crazy to mask an

anxiety disorder.

I also used creativity wherever

possible to help me avoid panic

attacks.

I became well known for giving

out tins of baked beans and for

my bouncy balls.

They created a brand that I was

pleased to own and it made

people laugh, but I would not

have gone down this road if it

was not for living with a mental

health issue.

Realistically, of course, this

anxiety disorder has held me

back from truly achieving my

full potential, but equally it has

made me who I am today and I

am proud of my achievements.

At least one in four of us will

suffer with a mental health issue

every year.

I actually believe that this figure

is much higher as males, in

particular, find it very difficult to

talk about stuff.

Is it any surprise that suicide is

now the biggest killer of men

under 45 years old?

I decided to talk for the first time

in 30 years about my anxiety

disorder because my former

employer,

Auto Trader,

gave me

the ideal platform during Mental

Health Awareness Week and are

doing their very best to reduce

the stigma of mental health in

our workplace.

I found it difficult but have been

truly humbled by the number of

people who related to my own

story.

Many of them have said that it

has inspired them to no longer

suffer in silence and they have

vowed to seek help.

My personal commitment is to

no longer hide my own anxiety

disorder and to do everything I

can to reduce the ignorance that

exists around a mental health

issue.

If you do suffer, please don’t wait

30 years like I did to speak out in

the workplace.

The longer you hold on to things

the heavier they become and this

suffering in silence can lead to

longer term mental health issues.

Please speak to somebody today

and no longer suffer in silence.

FOCUSONMENTALHEALTHAWARENESSWEEK

‘I hid mental health issue from everyone’

David Beeney, from Newbury,

now speaks at conferences and

has ready-made workshops for

employers who want to reduce

the stigma of mental health in

their workplace. He is also a

qualified mental health

counsellor. His website is

www.breakingthesilence.co.uk

If you wish to contact Mr

Beeney to see how he can help

you or your business either

email davidbeeney@break-

ingthesilence.co.uk

or call

07572 211610.

David Beeney describes thefeelings ofdeepanxiety thathetoldnobody about because hefeltembarrassed andscared

Newbury Weekly News