178 / 1424
178
a moment with a kind of simultaneity – what we a re now, growing more balanced;
what we were, striving and yearning; what we shall be… It is all one and yet it
evolves… there is an increase in accuracy, in confidence, in simplicity…
… Toine came to see the house for the first time; he was impressed and liked it a
lot, I think. He said that the 3-phase connection for the pump may take a few more
weeks but that he is following it up… We started the building of this house on Your
last Birthday, 21
st
of February, which is also Toine’s birthday; and we really ended it
all today, setting it up with the furniture, and this is a Darshan day, 9 months later
– like a human child!
At “Sharnga”, fetching the milk this evening, Cl and B.B tell me, laughing – they
were just returning from some meeting – that it had just been found that all those
who had chosen to buy their own food rather than participate in the “envelope”
system were actually getting their bread and tofu from the Bakery for which the
“envelopes” had paid already!
*28-11-1978, Auroville:
We have now a fairly large scaffolding team and the work goes well and fast; but I
find myself caught up again in some kind of leading role, despite my resisting it…
So I decided that, if Patricia doesn’t come tomorrow I just won’t work, rather than
going on telling others what to do, although I also understand that this is simply
more practical for most of us…
*30-11-1978, Auroville:
The garden is radiant, a feast of leaf and grass, there is hardly any breeze, the air
is soft and filled with birds’ songs, the sounds of tools in the distance muffled by the
trees, voices calling… Perhaps one would be crushed if one would truly realise the
perfect miracle it is to be material, the Grace it is… This meeting point of all
movements in the Lord… I know it is there pulsating in “me” since ever and that,
little by little, the needed strength, balance, wideness and equanimity are being
built…
*3-12-1978, Auroville:
We were both weaving, this afternoon, when the door opened and V came in. She
first asked for a saw; then she asked C.E when he will show her his paintings; then
leaves… I became tense; it roused almost an anger in me. I wish the whole thing
was open and frank! Then C.E decided to go with his paintings to V and he too left…
*5-12-1978, Auroville:
As I was about to leave for “Fraternity” this afternoon, I made a remark which I
note here, as it is significant of my ways and of what has to change in me for
good… I said to C.E that I’d try to be back in time to wash all the clothes, but I
implied that it’d be nice that he does it, so I wouldn’t have to hurry…! And in this
second meaning of my words was a vibration close to ordering him, but in an
indirect manner, putting him in the situation where he’d feel obliged to do it, lest
he’d be guilty of not doing it! This is a trick quite often used by me, I am aware of
it; I do it purposely. But as it is not a cold blunt thing and it is tempered by other
feelings of sharing, I let it be and am rarely struck by the callousness of it. But
today I had this aspiration to see precisely what makes C.E so resentful, in order to