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ABLATION
chapters iii, iv, v
Translated by Clayton McKee
chapter iii - The Decision
A
blation, noun – the
action of entirely or
partially removing
an organ… Removing, taking
out, subtract with the goal
of eliminating a malicious
disease, relieve and then
suffer the consequences. A
bit of a man, a tiny little bit
damaged. The damage will
not be seen. No-one will
verify if I am whole or not.
My imagination is playing
games with me; it ’s going
faster than my thoughts. It
precedes me and presents me
with a spectacle where I don’t
recognize myself; however, I
make an effort not to fall into
its trap. We mathematicians
learn rather early on about
ourselves that we are on a
time limit and that it is pure
illusion to believe we can
alter that timeline. Me, I have
not mastered anything big in
my life — but this time, I am
alone facing myself. I should
decide. No one will do it for
me. As usual, I procrastinate.
Catherine always helped me
a lot in moments like this.
It’s crazy that I would miss
her. One day after a doctor’s
appointment she told me: “He
suspects a small problem in
my left breast. He suggests
surgery, a radical solution