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GAZETTE
MARCH 1981
The Solicitor's
Apprentice
A cautionary tale
This is the tale of an apprentice whose firm forgot about
him. It is perhaps apocryphal, but it might also be seen as
an Awful Warning of what could happen . . .
The scene is a partners' meeting, with four partners
present.
Staff Partner:
I have another batch of letters here
Inquiring for a vacancy next year;
It seems apprenticeships are hard to find.
I have, however, not made up my mind
On whether one apprentice is too few
Or whether we'd be better off with two.
Sleeping Partner:
Apprentice? What apprentice . . .
Who is this person? I was not aware
We had a young apprentice up the stair.
Junior Partner (to Staff Partner):
He never listens to you, by the way;
He just approves of everything we say.
Senior Partner:
But granted that we have one - all the same
I've never seen him since the day he came -
No doubt he's done some work and done it well,
But whom he works for only he can tell;
Who took it on himself to keep him right?
Who is his master, who his guiding light?
Staff Partner:
Well, I suppose I am, but heaven knows
I never notice when he comes and goes.
I thought the work I gave him would suffice;
He's drafted notes on title once or twice.
A simple will — he may have finished it;
I haven't seen him lately, I admit.
Junior Partner:
Well, gentlemen, today I scaled the heights;
In curiosity, mounted flights
Of stairs up to the attic, where I found
Three feet of dust and papers all around;
Forgotten clients' files and printed forms
Submerged in water from last winter's storms,
Ten years of the
Conveyancing Review,
Old PH Books and other journals too,
And even Erskine's
Institute
was there
(Been looking for that volume everywhere).
The room was shadowed, though the sun was high,
And in the dimness something caught my eye.
Upon my soul, I thought, now what is this?
Something, I said, has surely gone amiss;
It seems all is not well with our affairs . . .
My friends, we have a skeleton upstairs!
It's been up there some time, I think you'll find,
And only one solution springs to mind:
It must be the apprentice that we had.
I didn't know that business was so bad.
When did he come? A year or two ago?
Or maybe more; it only goes to show
Our staffing situation needs to be reviewed.
Upon your province, sir, I'll not intrude.
(to Staff Partner)
Staff Partner:
Well, what a shame . . . He wasn't very old;
The Law Society should perhaps be told.
I think we could discharge the indenture now,
And, if they ask us, we'll explain somehow.
His indentures nothing more will save;
There's no assigning them beyond the grave.
And as for being admitted! Well, I vow
I hardly think he's going to practice now.
A practising certificate? So what!
A fit and proper person he is not;
So perish all who take the law in vain
He won't serve
bona fide
here again.
With thanks to the Law Society of Scotland, from whose Journal these words of warning have, with
kind permission, been culled.
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