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heavier feelings and sentiments and movements; to flow with states of
consciousness, in the inexhaustible wealth of conscious existence, here in Matter
itself…; outgrowing the limits of humanness, a free sovereign being…
Too soon people start moving and talking…
I tuned to C.E, hoping to share with him in silence, but he isn’t available and
instead makes some comment on a “nice shirt” a woman is wearing and at once I’m
caught, well caught, in … too human a movement!
Yet my body remained under the influence of that Calm and openness.
I know “I” cannot do anything about it; that there is only one way, to be more and
more given and united to the need…
*27-4-1979, Auroville:
While collecting flowers early this morning, I hear an airplane flying over and I
suddenly remember a very vivid dream that I had not at all recalled when I tried as
every morning upon waking to note down my sleep-activities – and it makes me
wonder how many such dreams I “loose”…: I am standing on a sea-shore, just like
in Pondy; there is a crowd of people massed along it until far into the streets that
lead to it. There is anxiety written on every face and the sky becomes gloomy and
the light is as of lightning’s and we see, going northward parallel to the shore and
far into the sea, dozens and dozens of warships of different sizes, some very large,
moving together as a herd, in an ominous silence. A man nearer to the shore starts
informing everyone, as if he’d picked up the meaning of it in the air, but it felt true,
that this is an action taken by India to show Thailand how to behave… I think I am
with a small group of friends, or at least there are a few people to whom I feel
closer compared to the crowd… It is a very striking dream…
… The other day, in Pondy with C, I had “accidentally” met Miriam in a shop; she
has not yet left, obviously. Later, to Al.B who was searching for someone who could
take brochures to the US, I’d mentioned her eventual departure any day. This
evening Al.B came to ask me to ride down to Pondy with him and see Miriam and
ask her… He sits a moment with C while I prepare, they are doing well together.
Then we leave on his bike, both feeling rather happy, I believe, with the friendship
that has been growing between us. We find Miriam at “Golconde”; she has changed
her plans and will stay another month, which she wants to spend mostly in
Auroville; she moves me very much, vitally and physically, but I am not aware as
yet of a deeper thing…
*29-4-1979, Auroville:
C has been in a state of near-immobility, hardly eating, hardly talking, content,
assimilating…
*1-5-1979, Auroville:
At work G.M tells me he had a few hours yesterday, after we left, of a peace and
strength he had not experienced for a long time… (I’d been driving C around on
M.T’s bike when it broke down and we had to rest a while at G.M’s in “Dana” before
walking back home in the evening.)
Patricia and the others soon join us; our team is well-balanced now: Kiran has
joined, Jacq is there every day now, so is P.G, and Al.B, and Marcia, sometimes
Arjun and red P… Patricia and I go on with the marking, using a new method, while
the rest take care of the platforms and reinforce the scaffold. Piero comes later to
check some measurements with us; we have found this morning that our difficulties