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JayMerill
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childhood as far back as
I can remember. Making
objects vanish and then
re-appear. Everyone said
he would grow up to be a
magician.
Well to some extent I
suppose I did appreciate
thegameCraigwasplaying.
There
was
something that
I related to and after a lot
of thought on the matter I
recognised it boiled down
to this: I wanted to make
myself vanish in the world
but re-appear within
myself. The difference
was
though that I didn’t want
to keep on doing this over
and over the way Craig
did with knives, forks and
spoons. Slipping them into
his sleeve; hiding them in
the fridge or whatever.
Then
abracadabra
…!
You can guess the rest. I
wanted to disappear for
good and stay hidden,
visible only to myself for
evermore. The last thing
I needed was applause.
Craig was different from
me in this respect too.
He’d always loved nothing
better than holding an
audience. It used to make
me feel sick when we
visited them in Plymouth
and Craig would do his
silly tricks. That’s not
real magic, I thought to
myself. Apart from which
I didn’t care if the salt
pot or the pepper grinder
were permanently lost.
Not that they were. Craig
always made them come
back in a place you never
expected to see them. Up
on the tv shelf, say. Made
me even sicker to see
the fat-pink pleased look
on Chuck’s face when
everybody clapped and
cheered. I kind of despised