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Joy
I want to tell them as many
times as necessary for them
to be able to put a cost on
my sentence. But spare me
this stage play. I see clearly
what would lessen the
verdict and I find this type
of combat ridiculous. Who
will speak the best? Who will
find the best formula? Who
will best flatter the jury? I
feel that the essentials are
playing out without me and
little by little, I am distancing
myself… It seems to me, while
surrounded by a polished
wood smell, a light citrus
perfume arrives. I ask myself
what it could be. The cleaner
for the windows? The fresh
citrus reminds me of a world
that used to be mine but is
no longer, I breathe in this
odor deeply and the world
gets even further away… The
judge’s voice suddenly gets
even more serious:
- But… even so! You do not
find that there are a bunch of
coincidences?
I agree with her. The fact
that Ange had a pistol with
him, and that he came
with me, without a reason,
to the same place I had
encountered Rédoine, that is
very coincidental. It’s true, I
admit it. But it’s like that.
With my words, my lawyer
turns towards me, he doesn’t
look happy. He seems even
to suffer, so I try to clarify:
- It is like that… That is how
everything happened.
As this response did not seem
to satisfy anyone, I wanted
to add that coincidences do
happen. But nothing is said.
Then, I don’t feel like fighting
with the mic. My lawyer
doesn’t turn around again
but I make out his agitation
from the movement of his
head. The judge looks at me
and, for the first time, I read
a real curiosity in her eyes.