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226

Charles Pépin

I tell myself that there is

something unbalanced. I

have the impression that

the magistrates are at

home here, the court, the

prosecutor, even my lawyer,

today he is accompanied

by two colleagues from

his office unbeknown to

me, they seem at home,

in their palace and their

habits while I am sleeping in

prison. I was transported in a

security vehicle and I waited,

handcuffed, in a small room,

surrounded by police and

with nothing to eat; I waited

for someone to take me in

and to take off my handcuffs,

standing at the entrance to

the courtroom, I don’t know

what we were waiting for

and finally I was thrown into

my holding cell like a sick

person that people examine;

obviously I was the one who

had killed, not them. But after

all, I am still not condemned,

so why don’t I attend my trial

freshly shaven, with an ironed

shirt, clothes that don’t smell

of sweat and of prison? There

could be a small changing

room where the accused

could try on clothes before

their trial, could look at

themselves in the mirror, and

could choose a nice outfit to

end up getting ten years, they

could serve a strong espresso

before they enter, or even

a glass of water… And then

I take hold of myself again,

I tell myself that I must be

thirsty and that all the same,

it is me that has killed.

3

My lawyer was supposed to

be good, he is expensive, yet

I believe that he was the one

being the most ridiculed. I

see him, his back, readjusting

the piece of cloth he is

wearing on his shoulder, it

seems to bother him. He gets