63 292
63
ablation
chapter iv - The Operation
I
slept really well the day
before the operation. A
nurse came to shave my
pubis and the surrounding
area. I told her: “I could have
done that.” She responded:
“That’s ok. I’m used to it.”
I became hairless. I put on
compression socks to prevent
thrombosis. Professor J.F.
came to see me that evening.
He was reassuring, told me
a joke, and wished me a
good night. I can’t remember
if I prayed. I thought of my
kids and I wasn’t worried. I
had written to my oldest
son and sent my will to my
lawyer, Lambert. He has my
total confidence. Despite
my calm, it wasn’t a normal
night. I had the impression
that everything had resigned
in me. I delivered myself to
science and my body knew it.
They came to get me early
in the morning. I was naked
in a blue hospital gown with
a hygiene cap on my head.
I looked at the sky which
was white. I thought of the
people who were enjoying
their first days of vacation. I
remembered that this year,
I was supposed to go to an
island called Maurice. I knew
this place very well. I told
myself that I would go there
for my recovery, maybe
accompanied by a friend. In
the operationwing, people are
active. I think I hear someone
say: “It’s a friend of the boss.”
The anesthesiologist’s hands
work around my face; then
nothing more. An absence.
A digression. A blank spot
in my life. Slightly dead, like