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“reconciliation” with the SAS… Here is someone who, I am afraid, is likely to loose
his balance…!
… Tonight I try again to talk with C.E: I admit that the way I have believed in
complete sharing is not working; I ask that we try and find together the next step;
even it that means to part from each other, we can still help one another in that…
His response is a little more positive…
*17-10-1979, Auroville:
A few of us have met early at Matrimandir. G.M and Marcia, P.G, Pas, and we move
towards the hills in the Gardens and select a spot; it is funny, because we have
really no idea how it is going to work out. A few others join us.
Then the carpenters begin to arrive, one by one and by different routes but, there
is the thing: it IS a process, and it must happen in one spot, almost like hypnotism,
or like a magnet… Fairly soon everyone, including the constables, has gathered on
the hill…!
Once in the morning I go out, down to “Aspiration”, to retrieve my parcel from the
Post-Office; my copy of the Agenda 4 has come and I bring it back…
At some point the inspiration comes to us that we should move away suddenly, and
we shift all the way back to the Banyan tree, and the police stays behind,
preventing the carpenters from following…
Then the Inspector Thomas and his colleague come to meet us: they are quite
taken by the humour of the whole scene and agree to issue orders sot that the
carpenters stay over there…
… It seems that the Coop members did not quite approve of our action; we sense a
kind of moral reticence towards our “behaviour”… Later on, M.D comes to talk with
us: there is some tension and he has obviously a “superiority” trouble, but what he
has to say is interesting. He says that now is not the time to take further action
regarding SSJ as new contacts are being established at different levels of
officialdom towards an actual recognition of Auroville…
… Today is Dadu’s birthday; there is a warm and generous feeling at dinner…
*18-10-1979, Auroville:
Riding together, P.G tells me something that makes me ponder: he says that he
often has to struggle with himself not to go away, not to leave Auroville; that he’d
be so relieved to find a good pretext to go out for some time… And I sense that this
is exactly what makes him so noisy, in such an extroverted manner, just as it used
to make F.S noisy until he could find a justification for going out and leave for a
while, released… While for me it is almost the opposite experience: I find that it is
only here that I can breathe and feel at home! And somehow it makes me feel like
withdrawing just a little, not relying so much on P.G any more, and also paying a
little more attention to what I really sense, regardless of any influence, including
that of friendship…
*19-10-1979, Auroville:
I have had enough of this in-between, paralysing, simmering, unhealthy stand
between C.E and I. We have to choose, one way or another. Do we trust our
staying together enough to give it what it needs, or do we find it is now time to part
and to move independently from each other…? When I talk to him, before work, I