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At dinner, before the clean-up, I look at an issue of the “Auroville Lien” – they
rather ought to call themselves the “Friends of the French Aurovilians”! – and I read
the text of an interview with Satprem in which he passes on Your Mantra for
everyone to use… This is still not clear to me, Mother! I had not trusted the way he
had had it passed on to Auroville, in all that secrecy, with all that elitism, the
whispered invitations to go to Luc’s house… And now it is all in the open! And I am
still unsure: is it valid for every person, for every body?
*15-10-1979, Auroville:
There is so little joy left in our living together. I say to C.E that I feel like a
transparent wall rising between our bond and this new indifference, or a distance
that keeps filling with thoughts of separation; that I do not know any more how to
break through it, when he does not appear to mind it…
… The task is huge and we are ridiculously few. It makes me flinch back, today: the
waste, the misunderstandings, the absence…
P.G, Jacq and I go up: when we three are together, there is an interesting ground,
a sort of positive alchemy, a basis for something else, each being effortlessly aware
of each other’s place.
At tea-break we all agree that we will use, for storing the wooden beams taken
down from the towers, the shed where the carpenters nowadays spend the day-
time playing cards, dozing and joking, all this inertia and dark weight becoming
habitual, with the police hanging around day and night having nothing to do either…
So, by 5 pm, when the carpenters have gone home, we begin tidying the area
around the shed… and life’s humour winks at us…! Bit by bit we discover, hidden
and hoarded in every corner and cranny, a treasure of tools…! Like a surprise gift
made with a great gentle irony… we find not only all the tools that had disappeared,
but quite a few more, brand new! The police are bemused, till they begin to
understand what is happening and to see the fun of it too!
*16-10-1979, Auroville:
We have all become saturated with the ugliness of this situation which cannot
honestly be ignored: this entire group of instrumentalised people, paid to merely sit
there day after day; the police’s continuous presence ; the loose waste around, the
papers flying, the radios playing, the poor jokes, the hostility, the teases, the
inertia… and no resolution in sight! We are about ready to take any action, out of
sheer frustration…
So we are agreed that tomorrow morning we shall block the access to the area, and
come what may…!
We managed to do good work today! Being upset sometimes helps; we have done
in a few hours what might have taken a few days… I don’t know about the yogic
value, though!
… This evening I tried to tell P.G of an action I have felt we should initiate, from a
deeper perspective: to call for a kind of truce, a moment of concentration for
everyone to call, to offer, to present the entire question before You, an offering to
the Force of Change… But he rejects it: never will he sit, he says, with such people!
And this is my friend, who usually understands me! So that gives me the tune of
the others’ reactions to such an “idea”: no point in trying!
… This question of “spiritual unity” is tricky and treacherous; everyone’s ambition is
solicited… In the evening P.G tells me that Sj has approached him and Jacq – I had
specifically warned Sj not to get carried away – with a thick written proposal for