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*1-1-1980:
I get up at 3 am and write my dreams. In one of them I have already lighted the
fire, sweetly blundering at it with a few others, too late and too close to the trees…
I put on some music to gently wake up V, go out and awaken my neighbours, start
a fire at the Kitchen for those who will prepare the cocoa for everybody, go to
Matrimandir and wake up Mangini to get paper and kerosene; while I wait for him,
the moon slowly sinks between the raised arches of the structure… Later Ed and
Mangini join me at the wood-pile and together we light the Fire; it starts large and
fast, huge flames whooshing and whirling up into trails of coloured smoke…
What I most wanted to offer to it was: self-consciousness; this self-regard that
prevents genuine self-giving…
The children soon come closer and now and then we throw more wood into the Fire.
… Later we see the tractor rolling in, with P.G, Noh and Pas on it to distribute the
breakfast to all…
… D.W and Yus hand over to everyone copies of the new Matrimandir brochure – I
am still upset that they have dismissed C.E’s drawings and chosen ones that I find
much less interesting…
… Most everyone has gone to sports events at “Aspiration”; I keep watch at
Matrimandir.
… To night we begin to listen to the tapes of the Agenda 4; the house is full, there
is a good concentration, till 9 pm. Jacq, though, has a bad stomach, she is under
stress: Roger A is arriving for a visit! She is so sweet and funny!