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We catch 5 of these men and pack them up into an empty jeep that’s parked right
there, waiting for the Inspector to come and “take delivery”; others go on chasing
after the remaining guys who have fled, some running, some on horse-back and
some riding their bikes across the fields, it is a real fiesta…! C has got a ride on
Jacq’s bike! We get hold of one more of those guys and hand them all over to the
police, having no illusion, though, as to what measures will be taken… We are
merely making a point! There is a rather joyful energy flowing…
… Walking back home with C, I start telling her what happened in 1973, what was
done to You… and I begin to cry…!
… I cycle over to “Dana” to bring Marcia’s mail, and also to let C.E. and V visit with
C here without me… G.M is groggy… We sit quietly, the 3 of us, when J of “Two
Banyans” comes in… After a while I ask him straight how he feels about some of
the Coop members wanting him to resign if he does not stop taking hashish; he is a
little surprised at my direct question but answers with a fair measure of honesty, I
think, although he’s obviously been very hurt by the attitude of the “Aspiration”
people and is till in a reaction to it… However I find that communication with him is
very limited, or veiled…
… I ponder what I have seen today: this part of Auroville which is like a “Farmers
Association; people who, out of their own interests, reach some sort of mutual
agreement or contract so that each one gets the minimum trouble while
supplementing one’s life-style with a bit of collective ideal and a vague orientation
towards a simpler and better earthly existence… And that seems to be it…!
And here is quite a gap! Some of my illusions got shot today… I was taking certain
things for granted, which are actually not real at all…
With whom and how is Matrimandir to be built…? Who wants it? For its own sake,
and not for… other reasons?
How are we ever going to meet in an active and committed movement of building
which is at the same time a receptivity for the foundations to be laid of an entirely
other Being…?
Is this “we” ever going to manifest, to happen…?
*5-3-1980, Auroville:
Back to “Tapoloka” this morning to resume the general meeting that was
interrupted yesterday…; this time, I chair. I introduce the main topic as a token of
our search together for a certain transparency and security… Then I am fully busy
keeping the meeting together; there is no fatigue… I try to bring people who do not
usually speak up to express themselves… The main trends or focuses are, once
more, tantrism, the use of drugs, allegiance to or collusion with the SAS… Some
agreement is obtained on a few topics and the rest is to be seen again on
Saturday…
*6-3-1980, Auroville:
J.Cl is shaving a very hard time here. Despite his generosity and friendly humour,
he doesn’t find his place… M.S is also in some difficulty: she has hepatitis and is
very unsure as to whether she must stay or leave; her attachment to Cyril pulls her
one way, but she is very disappointed and hurt by what she has seen here, by the
behaviour of the people in “Aspiration”… Somehow, none of my old friends seems to
adjust well to the situation here; there is bitterness and incomprehension…
… In the night P.G wakes me up for my shift, out of an interesting dream –
experience or activity, I don’t know how to call it -; it has a character of illustrated,