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others in Auroville and pretending to know and see better and to have thereby the
right to impose my will, when in fact I am not even supposed to be here at all…!
… I must have no fear, but no self-pity and complacency either…!
*7-8-1980, Auroville:
Just upon waking, I “see” Krishna, and he is “my” Krishna again, open and given
and real…
… At the general meeting Dennis reads out an ‘open letter to India” that Bhaga gas
drafted; there are some excesses in it, but it has depth and it is straightforward…
At first I was reluctant, as with anything that may resemble propaganda, since the
plan is to distribute it during the annual conference of the SAS; but I also do feel
that it is important to support positively whatever we can agree to do together.
… This evening Jacq, alone on her bike, stopped SSJ on the road and told him not
to enter the Matrimandir area… He gave her a pat on the chin!
*8-8-1980, Auroville:
This morning P.G and PP have been forcibly arrested.
Let it be Thy Way! Whatever it is, let it be Thy Way…
I can’t relate well to any of this…
… We split into “action teams”: 2 to Tindivanam, 2 to Cuddalore, 2 making ready
for Madras, 1 to call Delhi…
… Rs 2,000/- is required, along with a certificate of No-Objection by the Inspector
Thomas, who must be in the SAS’ pay: he doesn’t want to sign it…
… This evening a few of us stop SSJ on the road again; but this time he has brought
3 people along, Gab, Jyotiprem and Igor… fanatic idiots…! Sorry, Mother!
*9-8-1980, Auroville:
Sincerity is such a vast thing.
The terms in which we form our awareness aren’t the right ones yet…!
… We are surrounded with lies and cheats and tricks and deceit – at best,
indifference…
… I am learning to stand by what the Lord IS in me…
*10-8-1980, Auroville:
P.G and PP are released at 3 pm. We ride back in two taxis.
I had been hoping everybody would be gathered at Matrimandir, for You, for
Auroville… We reach at 5 pm. It is crowded and confused and there is only talk and
talk and more talk…
Perhaps things are telling me to withdraw…
*11-8-1980, Auroville:
In Delhi this morning Diane, Radhika, C.A and Savitra have met with Indira. She
has told them: “Yes we are trying, but they (the SAS) have a strong group, they
have tentacles everywhere…!”
*12-8-1980, Auroville: