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Satprem’s letters, instead of this preferential divisive secrecy they continue to
practice…
*8-2-1981, Auroville:
I am trapped again in-between… I don’t like exclusiveness, I don’t like jealousy:
each person is unique, there are no two contacts alike, there are no two
relationships alike…
I don’t want to “want” anything: let existence flow, let us become fully awakened
within its flow; each moment too is unique, unprecedented and never to be
repeated, in or out of time…
*9-2-1981, Auroville:
Today is Diane’s birthday; we have a small concreting at Matrimandir and,
afterwards, I take her up to the Chamber…
*10-2-1981, Auroville:
Myrtle est venue ; elle m’a communiqué son souhait de vivre avec moi. Elle est très
impérieuse dans son expérience de notre relation, mais elle ressent aussi un peu de
ce que je suis vraiment ; elle a cette intuition…
Il y a simultanément cette possibilité qui se développe avec Diane, où je me sens
plus libre ; et pourtant, elle a sa vie, ses enfants, son « foyer »… Ce n’est
certainement pas simple !
… Je ne peux pas dormir : je pars avant l’aube vers Matrimandir, et vais m’asseoir
à l’amphithéâtre ; Myrtle s’est levée aussi et m’y rejoint…
Il n’y a rien à dire : mais être, être… Et que tout ce qui imite et prétend rencontre
ses propres conséquences… C’est tout.
*11-2-1981, Auroville:
This morning Diane and I prepare and print the AV Notes at “Pour Tous”, and this
afternoon we have our Coop meeting in the house here, till evening – Myrtle, Cl.A,
Arjun, Diane, Barbara and I, and Prem and Yus… There is a number of topics, as
most times; and we find that there is a growing number of instances where there
occurs a betrayal of the spirit of Auroville, from small, “insignificant” details
(habitual reflexes and practices), to choices that have consequences on many
levels… And we have yet to learn the “trick” of communicating directly, adjusting or
correcting as if within one being and substance, through the contagious force of the
experience…
… Diane is thinking of going “to the mountain”, to see Satprem; I am tempted to
drive her over and spend a few days there, with her…
*12-2-1981, Auroville:
At the general meeting today there is a strong opposition to Tanmaya; it is hard,
but revealing… It is not easy for him, but I trust You are taking care of him and
seeing to it that e benefits from the experience…