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intention of pushing it down on everybody, I have nothing else to propose, no
masterly alternative design to present… But I feel certain that this particular design
of theirs is not compatible with the very being of Matrimandir, and I find that Roger
A is behaving like a pig, particularly towards Piero. It is quite ugly.
So perhaps I shall post this letter in a few days; it will not be very conducive to my
own tranquillity but, as no one else is saying it out loud, I can at least do that! I am
used to being unwelcome!
*25-9-1987, Auroville:
This day has been crowded. It’s as if, by putting my attention on the Matrimandir
issue and merely considering to contribute some action, I had entered back the
area, or opened myself to it all…
Late this morning, after “Ravena”, I went to Matrimandir for the concreting of the
slab at the centre of the Chamber floor; I felt good to be there, and it was simple;
there were no mundanities, no social talk and no visitors; just the guys who had
been preparing and fixing the shuttering, and for once in a long time I felt at home
there. Then I met Surya who told me of his research with Piero for the exact
dimensions of the Sri Aurobindo’s symbols and their melting and casting, and of his
other work with G.M’s team on the polyester model for Roger A. He asked my
views. He was not rigid about his own preferences and he was open to another
approach…
… I met J.P this afternoon, always so eager for friendly contacts, who told me some
very real and beautiful experiences he’s had, and of his difficulty meeting the
suggestion that he must go back to France to get his eyes fixed… And there and
then G.M drove by and stopped, and asked to spend a moment with me…!
We came here, and spent about an hour talking, mostly about Matrimandir. I told
him how I felt about his present action, and made my suggestions; he told me of
the process he’d gone through and the reactions he had encountered… At least we
were able to communicate and that made me happy.
… I received a telegram from Su announcing her arrival date, on October 8, and
just then Ar. came, in a state: she had already read it at the Kitchen!
But somehow, as the Matrimandir issue was foremost on our minds, this got
dissolved quickly; she showed me then a very tendentious text that had just
appeared in the Auroville News including carefully edited quotes of Your Agenda
and letters of Yours, and even of an old letter of Satprem to me (I don’t at all know
how they could get their hands on it), all to the effect that Roger A was the
unquestioned authority…
This is the usual old, nauseous arguing that feeds on the trails left by the Avatar…
*26-9-1987, Auroville:
I have taken notes to form a work-basis for the search of a solution to the issue at
Matrimandir, so that everyone can see the options clearly and contribute one’s
experience, regardless of personal considerations.
… Ar. told me after lunch that, at the morning meeting at Matrimandir, G.M had
been his usual self again and suggested quietly that everyone should contribute to
the finding of the right answer, opening up to dialogue… And that it had made a
difference in the atmosphere there.
She wanted to come down to Pondy with me; I cannot refuse her these days, as
she is so scared of Su’s return, although she really tries to overcome it, I think…
Over dinner she went over all my notes and she became enthusiastic, insisting I