758 / 1424
758
But will this group be willing to listen, to search together with others for the real
thing, can they be freed of this hypnosis, or will they try to bully everyone else into
accepting their plan?
… Yaap came to see me at “Ravena”; he’d heard that Larry may be back within a
couple of weeks, possibly with money to finish the work, and he thought that I
should perhaps postpone the meeting with the Council, “to avoid troubles”… I had
to remind him again that I had waited long enough, that Larry had sent me no
message whatsoever; that there was now some opening in Auroville towards the
place, and I had no reason to postpone it further, as in any case Larry and I had
agreed on the future usage of the place… Yaap likes me now, I think, and he means
no harm; but still he is Larry’s friend and has been introduced to “Ravena” by him…
I feel a little weary of all this; either I am trusted enough and I can complete the
work, or I am not and I’d rather pull out right now…
*14-10-1987, Auroville:
Ed came to see me at “Ravena” in the morning, and we talked frankly; we agreed
that he would send a telegram to Larry informing him of the present direction and
asking him to confirm that he would be bringing funds to finish the construction.
And the meeting with the Council did take place – its 4 remaining members, Al.B,
Suzy, Prem M and P.P – and Bhaga, Sharan and Yaap also attended; it went alright.
… I want to be open and responsive for the big meeting on Matrimandir tomorrow; I
pray that Matrimandir will call for the true and right solution…
*15-10-1987, Auroville:
Ed stopped me on my way to “Ravena” this morning, to deliver the bad news – why
he hadn’t told me earlier, I do not know: a few days ago Larry had phoned Afsaneh
and told her he was returning soon with enough money to finish the house alone
and use the house for Auralice and himself , and that he wanted me to stop and
move out at once; apparently Afsaneh had joined him in the US earlier and
returned ahead of him to Auroville, and she had known of his intentions all along…
And this corresponds to the actual feeling I was getting from Larry all this time…
What is this battle I must wage? It is obvious that Larry’s position is dishonest, and
contrary to the basic principles of Auroville; but then he is also supported by the
wave of ordinariness that has overtaken a lot of the Auroville people – ordinary
dealings, ordinary reasons and motives, ordinary orientations and considerations…
My weakness in this is that I fear physical violence once I have met it; and Larry
has wanted to hurt me once, and I remember that he has no control there, and no
will to have any.
To me it is that I am working to complete an offering which is Your property and
meant for Your use, and I aim at getting recognition of its usage in the most faithful
way possible; I do not think that any individual in Auroville today is doing such a
conscious yoga as to justify their own personal use of this place; therefore I want it
to be dedicated and open to all who may benefit from its concentrated and special
atmosphere. And at present it seems that Ed, Yaap, the members of the Council,
and quite a few others, genuinely agree to this direction…
So I put on paper a few straightforward questions for Afsaneh to put to Larry when
she talks to him on the phone, regarding his intentions and the future usage of the
house; and I added one rider: in case he persisted in “taking over”, would he be
willing “to pay back at least part of the amount I have myself contributed”…! And I
intend to communicate both my questions and his answers to the Council…