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so he could talk to me… All the pent-up emotions, resentment, affection and fears
came out, from deep inside him, and he soon felt better…
N has eventually finished building the table and bench outside C’s house, so that
everything is now ready for her arrival tomorrow…
I had an encounter this morning with both Larry and Pala, regarding the full
furnishing of “Ravena” so that it could accommodate 10 people, they say, for 2
years: an absurd proposition! But they apparently expect me to consider it as my
work…
*28-8-1988, Madras:
I was given a bull of a driver: he went so fast that I reached the airport in time for
a quiet lunch, in a freezing room overlooking the first mountain range…
Early this morning, Krishna came to see me; he’d come several times already but
hadn’t found me; he’s had heart-troubles lately – his heart stops now and then, and
starts with a big thump; he’d tried to work on himself and find out what it is that
stands in the way; he was worried that, living alone and isolated, no one would find
him if something happened to him, and he wanted me to check on him every
morning… Oddly – or perhaps naturally – the thought had come to me yesterday
that we two should make a pact that, should one of us leave, the other would see
to it that everything is done right…! We laughed about it…
*29-8-1988, Auroville:
C has brought many adorable gifts. And with her JY, my brother, sent an object
which, charged with all the past and with JY’s own care and love and aspiration
over many years, I am now to keep here: a statuette from ancient Egypt of a man
adoring, kneeling on the ground, his arms outstretched on either side, his face
lifted up slightly towards the light he sees and reveres and opens to, or to the
person who incarnates it… I will share this always, and perhaps this too will help JY
and I to share Your way in the physical…
*30-8-1988, Auroville:
I am unable to evolve out of this sense of constantly racing against time, day after
day, night after night… Whichever way I try, to organise the activities, to
concentrate, or to let go, it remains within the same circle: physical time is a
prison, a snare, or else an illusion which is tied to all other illusions and ties the
consciousness to the round of their mechanisms, ageing, disease, fear, insecurity
and death, the inability to simply be, to perceive reality…
*31-8-1988, Auroville:
Ramu came to meet me, confused: Jagdish died yesterday, of an entirely
unexpected, abrupt heart-failure…
*1-9-1988, Auroville:
These days I have so little time away from external relationships that I become
easily confused: I do not yet find the right balance and receptivity, the capacity of
physical silence – conscious silence in the physical consciousness – which would
enable me to remain centred while letting the energies circulate and animate the