804 / 1424
804
*17-8-1988, Auroville:
Samuel hasn’t been well again, but he asked to stay with me this evening, and I
took him with me to the night-watch, till Soaz returned from the show; he fell
asleep in my arms, and Su, who had joined us, fell asleep as well…! She has been
very tired again, with pain in her kidneys, and worrying…
*19-8-1988, Auroville:
Zia, the leader of Pakistan, has been shot in the air, with several others including
the US Consul, struck by a missile… This has happened yesterday, it seems.
*21-8-1988, Auroville:
My aspiration, my need is to open, Mother, so that more consciousness may flow in
and do its work… Please, Mother, do not let me remain un-growing; help me make
all the room, please, Mother…!
There is only one adventure: to open to more consciousness and let it change our
substance.
There is no other sense to existence and no other cause either…
Take me, Mother…!
*23-8-1988, Auroville:
Samuel, Gwen, Soaz, JF.D and Michel have all left together, back to France.
Samuel spent the entire morning with me here, till the moment their car was
packed and ready to leave; I cut his hair…
*24-8-1988, Auroville:
I have been building houses for years now; and I haven’t yet found the contact with
a progressive matter. The determinisms that tend towards disintegration are always
stronger, based as they are on inertia; and the condition of human society at
present is centred on shallow values, and one has to struggle against it whenever
and wherever one seeks to establish another base… And so it is within the body, it
seems…
*25-8-1988, Auroville:
Su has now moved in with me. Faced with Ar.’s clock-like insistence on being with
me daily by 2 pm, she cracked, from the sheer tension of it in the room, and she
asked Ar., right in front of Vivian, not to come so early anymore, so she could rest.
Ar. left at once. Because of the implications of such a statement, on such a tone
and at such a moment, I got a little mad at her inside me and couldn’t see how to
accept any of this, couldn’t see the validity of her staying with me at all, even
though it is only for a few weeks… I waited till this evening, and we talked; I told
her bluntly about it; but she had by then already looked at it herself, and she took
my meaning in, and received it well, and it was alright again…
*27-8-1988, Auroville:
As I was giving the final touches and a last brooming to C’s house, Jaïmurthy came
by, back from an errand I’d sent him to run in town, and he had drunk quite a bit