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*6-11-1988, Auroville:
I attended, the entire afternoon, a general meeting about the City Master-Plan,
which Roger A is going to deliver tomorrow in Delhi, along, I suppose, with his
expectations to be officially appointed as “The Architect”…
What to say? He is a pig. But he has capacities, and he is in this position whereby a
wonderful advance could be made in Auroville, at all levels, simply because You had
put him there; but he doesn’t even see the opportunity, as he only functions with
his ego. And the group that has formed around him adds dishonesty to
deformation…
It seems to me we have as yet so little understanding; it is a poor circus show…!
*7-11-1988, Auroville:
This is a very restful weather, soft and lush and cool; no blare, everything is
subdued and quietly thriving, there’s a little wind, a drizzle at times: Nature re
sourcing… I had thought I would do the asanas, back from work this evening, but
instead I found myself aligned in the garden, nowhere in particular, simply there,
gazing, being, breathing, perceiving, as I’ve had no time to be for… a long time!
… If we weren’t still bound by this sense of time determined by the duration of a
human body, it seems to me there would be no frustration of any sort; whatever
process one is into would simply go to its fruition, whatever the time it may take,
and one would never feel the “waste” of it by having to compare it with all the other
efforts or endeavours or progresses to be made… It is this engineering of time and
death into the present body or material state that is truly THE obstacle – there
seems to be none other…
*8-11-1988, Auroville:
Mentally I want to work actively on freeing my physical consciousness from the
sense of time – to try and open to a physical condition unbound by the pressure of
time; and to let go of all the formations of what “I” ought to achieve, realise, serve
or contribute: this condition must exist… But today I hit upon the other aspect of
this pressure: relationships. For, without a sort of defined purpose or discipline in
daily life, relationships tend to hover, flood in and spread and take over; and
therefore it seems that, in order to become free of that falsifying sense of time, one
must first find and establish the true, the new basis for all relationships, in oneself…
*9-11-1988, Auroville:
I am up against a question: a need to be taken over by what I seek.
I understand I must find a state of eternity, so that there may be an increase of
consciousness in the substance. Yet, life is so set, relationships and possibilities of
movement are so insufficient and so resistant to change, that one can only tolerate
them as temporary realities, not meant to last… I do not find the right movement; I
do not even sense its actuality…
*12-11-1988, Auroville:
Krishna stayed all evening here with me. We seem to be going at the same time
through a similar crisis, reaching for some opening, sign or action, a way over or
into the Real, and the undoing of death; often I see that Krishna and I are to each
other what we both want most, and it is a Gift, a more-than-human thing. And yet,