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*8-11-1989, Auroville:
This evening Champaklal, in a wheel-chair, very emaciated, surrounded with Your
atmosphere, visited Matrimandir, and came to see us at the workshop, handing out
flowers…
*9-11-1989, Auroville:
I have got more involved in setting up a basic organisation for the reception of
visitors and the general access to Matrimandir. I had called for another meeting this
afternoon. I was a little apprehensive about exposing myself as, even though most
people agree on the necessity, the initiative still rests on me. But I try to trust the
sense I have been following since I returned to work at Matrimandir and, so far, it
appears to have positive and creative effects on the situation, despite the animosity
or hostility I still encounter (from Andy’s group mostly); it is a rather delicate
balance…
*11-11-1989, Auroville:
It’s been raining all day, monsoon rain, but it’s been busy.
We had a long meeting, from 11 am to 2 pm; in a roundabout way most everybody
is tentatively recognising the necessity for substantial commitment to the
completion of Matrimandir “as soon as possible”, even if there has to be the old
recourse to “management” and authority to make it happen. Much of it all is
cerebral… But beneath it there seems to be the resurgence of a “yes”…
Both Piero and Roger A are going to be present in this coming period, and somehow
some clear agreement must be reached…
I presented the proposal for “Visitors Regulation”, and it was accepted. This is a
confirmation that one simply has to do, to move ahead materially, responding to
the evidence of the needs…
… N has come out of jail; the final trial is due at the end of the month, but he is
back and expects me to give him work and to look after him. First priority is for him
to be treated for filarial: one of his testicles is now very swollen and hurting. There
is still this unexplained tenderness, this feeling of being at home with him… Su too
had missed him…
… With Selvam there is a return of ease and affection; probably because I now
accept to adapt and adjust to his actual feelings, instead of wanting him to adapt
and adjust to mine; we attended the entire meeting together, holding each other as
before…
*Note. Written on 12-11-1989.
“It seems to me that Auroville will not begin to manifest until individuals freely and
willingly, out of conscious need, will commit themselves.
It seems to me that the very basis for it to happen is freedom of choice, and this is
the challenge of Auroville: when freedom is given – relative as it may be -, what do
we do with it, or out of it? We have absolutely nothing to show to the world unless
we make it work.
To borrow from a famous saying, it seems to me it is better, in the long run, to
begin with ten committed ones than with a hundred of make-believes; and only