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JayMerill
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oneaccusingmental finger
which pointed directly
at you-know-who. A few
months further down the
line and they’d arrived at
seeing how I’d been given
every chance to settle in
and prove myself a good
co-tenant. But I’d turned
out to be a far cry from
what had been hoped for.
So,wouldn’t the lotof them
be happy when I buggered
off and left them to their
own devices and a house
now uncontaminated by
my presence? When I’d
gone over this question a
few times I began to see
that the very opposite
was true. Of course. They
needed a victimmore than
anything or it would be
back to fear and instability
for the lot of them. And
just now I’ve thought of
a further point. It’s just
come to me. A comedian.
I was more of a comedian
than anything else and
they needed that. I was
the joker in the pack; the
court jester. In this way I’d
managed my scapegoat
role better than most
would. I smiled at them
with my inane smile and
jangled my bells and it
keptme safe. Theyweren’t
really going to crucify me.
All I had to do was twinkle
and keep this whole show
going indefinitely with my
smile. It made me laugh
to think of where they’d
be when I left. I wouldn’t
be surprised if the whole
house didn’t fall apart.
Because, and I’ve only
come to see this very
recently, I was actually the
core of the establishment.
And that was the thought
that filled me with the
most incredible sense of
horror you can imagine.
The hypocrisy, the malice,