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We should concentrate so that would join us only those who can make out the
difference and detect all imitation… But we ourselves are stuck; we do not have the
balance…!
If this is all to be just a battle-field, then let it be frank at least! “Good-will” does
sometimes more to hide the truth than to serve it!
*27-5-1980, Auroville:
I am sitting in a café waiting for G.M and Marcia, the purchases done. The same
guy who said last time he’d met me all these years ago, comes to talk to me: he
finds that Auroville is a failure, it is filled with “petit bourgeois” and petty
colonialists, with no energy to break through and no will to move beyond the old
known systems, and he wants me to explain why I am so determined to remain
here and what is my experience… G.M and Marcia arrive and save me from having
to answer… Yet, we can’t pretend, Auroville does give such an impression at
present… I am feeling very low…
*28-5-1980, Auroville:
Yus asks again what we feel regarding the latest invitation by the Governor to a
“Peace Meeting” as, this time, Prem and Fred are ready to go and are pulling him
into it; we can only reiterate that it can lead nowhere but to the same old trap and
none of us should go…
*29-5-1980, Auroville:
There is this thing of making a big dinner celebration today; I have refused to help.
What is the point of this show of unity when day after day and in all things there is
so little we do share and Matrimandir gets only a handful of us to do the work?
… Gillian has finally located Tess: he is in poor shape and has burned his papers;
so, even though the tickets have come, they can’t leave as yet; I have to take care
of his passport at once…
*30-5-1980, Auroville:
I went to the Nursery to pick flowers for Jacq’s birthday; Narad gets hold of me: he
is very depressed and thinks of leaving Auroville, because of the heavy criticism he
has received from several people. I try, as whenever I find someone in that
condition, to be very forward and positive and strong; I tell him that many of us are
going through an intensely severe period and that we must endure and learn from
it… There is to be a special meeting on the Gardens tomorrow; we’ll see…
… Today Diane asks me to count the monies, and it takes me till the end of the
meeting; she tells me that Prem, Fred, Yus and now even M.D have actually gone
to Madras, accepting the Governor’s invitation… They have, it seems, Piero’s full
support, and that is what persuaded Yus. It has become clearer to me that there is
absolutely no virtue in getting upset, bitter or resentful…! When given an
opportunity to express one’s views, either in words or in acts, one does it;
otherwise one keeps quiet!
Diane tells me other titbits…! For instance, that Sujata has suggested, on behalf of
Satprem of course, that the arrest of the 7 of us might be a good thing for “the