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group of us who are always available and ready, for the Guard or for any other
emergency – to assert our “right” to be part of such “events” as the meeting with
the Governor… I understand how he feels, but this does not seem to be the right
way to express it, nor the right time for it…
… Diane doesn’t show up today and I’m left with all this paper work and this is not
the first time… If there is no meaningful sharing, who cares to waste more paper
with it all…
… I have to receive visitors, part of the afternoon; a French couple strolls over, not
very interesting; then there comes a group of Indian ladies, both from the Ashram
and from Bombay, and with them I find a psychic presence and it becomes easy
and happy and, at the end of their visit, I realise that the eldest of the ladies
speaks and understands not a word of English and yet there has been such a loving
movement of communication with her, so very comforting…!
*3-6-1980, Auroville:
G.M and I have to go to Pondy; first I must find Diane, about the Visas work: we
look for her in “Jaïma”, and then we find her finally in M.H’s hut in “Aspiration”.
There is now and then a kind of negativity in Diane that makes it difficult to work
with her, which I don’t quite understand… We arrange to meet in Pondy… But she is
so late that I have to go ahead and meet the FRO Officer: he’s friendly today, which
is ironical, as he has now got more charge-sheets against more of us and, as a
consequence; less of us may have a proper Visa… Sometimes difficulties end up
simplifying things…!
*4-6-1980, Auroville:
A gang of thieves has again been operating in the area. Last night many valves
were stolen from the Gardens and Nursery, all worth at least a thousand rupees;
but the area is so large and we are so few and we have no resources; we are at the
mercy of any persistent bad-will…!
*5-6-1980, Auroville:
Christiane has been increasingly focussing on me, eager for an opening, a sign of
willingness on my part… I respect and appreciate her as a friend, or perhaps a
sister, but this is not the response she seeks; today she left me a message in the
Kitchen saying that, if she could, she would put joy in my eyes… I suppose she
means the joy of someone who has found “love”… But where is “she”? “She”, the
woman-soul I could walk and grow with? Does “she” even exist? Is it even wanted?
I don’t know…!
*6-6-1980, Auroville:
The realisation is now very tangible for me of the de facto solidarity that binds us
all, human beings, into a single condition. And it is thus that, here in Auroville, we
must face the same limits and contradictions as everywhere else – the opposite
would be a monstrosity!
Yet, what makes a difference I some of us, whether here or anywhere else, is a
little window within, that opens onto another consciousness… And perhaps there is