350 / 1424
350
*28-10-1980, Auroville:
I believe that what we must do, ought to do, is to gather a momentum in ourselves
– unified aspiration? - so that we may pass across the threshold, and so that
Matrimandir can actually be the link between the condition we are in and the state
we must reach, breaking through the stuff of formations that divide us… Until then
we remain on the wrong side of an opacity…
… It is in the newspapers that all the documents hidden by the SAS have been
seized by the CBI, documents that show the unofficial transactions and the
mishandling of donated funds… Perhaps at last the needed energies will be able to
come to Matrimandir directly?
*1-11-1980, Auroville:
It is sheer joy to read Your Agenda – Volume 6… I laugh so happily!
I take it in, take it in; it is like greed, to erase the distance that seems to separate
us from You, seeing more of a bridge revealed…
*6-11-1980, Auroville:
Today is Deepawali. I drift with fever all day.
*7-11-1980, Auroville:
I am given everything, constantly; I am surrounded with beauty, there is
friendship, there is grace, and I just don’t know how to live, as if I am un-able to
live…! And I feel disgust and shame at the heaviness I have imposed on others…
I resolve to make it a discipline not to express this helplessness in my relationships,
not to burden anyone with it…
*8-11-1980, Auroville:
V’s delivery time is approaching; it ought to be within a few days, and she is
anxious: her body is so small and she is nearly forty… She doesn’t find C.E
attentive enough; she brought me the book by F. Leboyer “Naissance sans
Violence” so that I read it now, as she wants me to be her helper at the birth…
… There is news in the papers of a Central Government’s sanction to the separation
of Auroville from the SAS, which must appear before the Parliament, from the 17
th
on!
*9-11-1980, Auroville:
V’s labour began last night, but C.E wouldn’t call anyone; she had a terrible time of
it… Early this morning, both Hilde and Myr were called, and finally petit G. came to
get me…
*10-11-1980, Auroville:
V’s baby daughter was born at 5 am.
Myr, Hilde and I were with her since yesterday morning. C.E was all closed up till
the last few hours. Only then did he begin to share in.