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It is the kind of “consciousness” with which we approach the needed changes, that
is wrong and inadequate. And it is this very inadequacy that makes these changes
to appear impossible.
I am quite certain now that there is, near at hand, available, an altogether other
awareness that can allow us to make this step, undergo this change: to be freed
from all patterns and formations…
… I believe that “falsehood” only occurs when people have persistently refused to
examine themselves and their own motivations, assumptions and beliefs… This is a
necessary effort that must proceed fairly constantly, and mental honesty is merely
one result of it…
*13-9-1980, Auroville:
This morning I go to help the teams at Matrimandir to carry sections of the new
crane; there is a large group, disparate, and I feel blank and rather unrelated…
… Marcia and G.M are in Madras, as Marcia’s brother is leaving, and I have to take
care of “Dana”; I clean the entire place, put everything in order, calling for peace
and clarity… Cl.B and M ride in on their horses and, with their coming, a kind of
sexual and vital potential enters… The horses run away; we find them back in
“Gaia”…
*17-9-1980, Auroville:
Que chaque être trouve son chemin entier du Seigneur… !
*18-9-1980, Auroville:
I want to be “alive” and to be “dead” at the same time, I want to exist beyond
both, or where the two join, or where they both come from… This is becoming like a
need: not to be “either” “or”, not to be depending on this illusion…
… Diane has returned and she reports on her whole experience in Delhi at the
meeting in “Tapoloka”; she is filled with it, there is sincerity there. Yesterday
already she had come to see G.M and I and the 3 of us had gone together to the
FRO; and I had felt more aware of her inner being than before.
*19-9-1980, Auroville:
I have a kind of clear certitude that the actual key to this world’s harmony is that
each one must learn to find what one loves and follow that faithfully; that this the
way for the truth of the world to be revealed… For everything, from the “smallest”
detail to the largest “issue”… And this is an immense program!
… There is a fairly balanced, strong and healthy mutual attraction between Cl.B and
I and today it felt like we were just about to make the step, but it would be for her
more of a decision than for me…
*20-9-1980, Auroville
I weep at Your feet, I kiss Your hands, I thank That for Your existence…
*23-9-1980, Auroville: