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657

*17-7-1986, Auroville:

Tomorrow it will be exactly a year since we started to build “Ravena”, and today we

completed the top roof! The structure is now complete, a full cycle. This was not

planned, by me or anyone of us; it just took place.

… I spent again the whole evening with D.M, Janaka and Auralice, taking care of

them and all, and saw them to bed. I feel breathless: this is such a vulnerable

situation, so delicate and so demanding too…

*18-7-1986, Auroville:

I had to stop by at “New Creation” to see A.T about a marble cutter and a sculptor;

the scene around him, or else something in his eyes, or in his personal atmosphere,

left a strange impression in me, and for a while I felt like crying: something behind

pity, but far from the ordinary pity, but… It is not mentally clear at all to me… His

two kids, though, have a beautiful presence, and a very straight gaze…

*21-7-1986, Auroville:

Jagannathan and I made another useless trip to Kottakuppam to see the Village

Officer; I don’t know, this whole mass of woven intermeshed dishonesties, corrupt

actions, political sidings and grabs for money and status…: we are still trying to

purchase that land next to “Ravena”, but there is no record that stands scrutiny, it

is all a mess, and it feels that nothing can possibly ever come right, out of such a

world…

… The weather is upsetting too, dry burning grey air, and everything here looks

miserable and untended, all the trees’ leaves are drooping or curling in and

termites pop up everywhere…

*22-7-1986, Auroville:

There is some happiness in me this evening; D.M often puts me in the right place,

by her own centeredness, her truthfulness, and the authenticity of her striving… I

spent a long time with her this morning; she is having a hard time and, while

talking quietly after our work on drawings for the door carvings, she made an

opening for me to express a few questions regarding the effects on her condition of

some exclusivism that I have often seen at play; so we looked at it together, and at

the whole process she has been committed to since her “accident” 10 years ago…

Her sincerity always radiates; and I am grateful…

I cannot help; I do not know how to help her; but if at least the building of

“Ravena” can be a small contribution, then I am glad to go on with it…

*23-7-1986, Auroville:

I had some unusual moments last night in my sleep – unusual for me: I am with a

few friends, in a gleeful state, and we are breaking and dismantling engines and

machines, going round old disused workshops and factories, and, with power in our

hands, we are like kids kicking useless balls, demolishing everything, and there is

wide silence abroad…