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manipulent, que manient, que proposent les écologistes, les verts, et d’une certaine
manière, d’une manière aussi très semblable, les anti-militaristes, car la vue des
anti-militaristes est très courte, très, très courte, et les écologistes aussi, à mon
avis… Là il y a une morale par-derrière, une morale globale, cohérente… Moi, ce
texte me parait excellent. Il faudrait certainement pour qu’il ait des chances d’être
publié ailleurs, il faudrait le remanier et le raccourcir, je pense, et le clarifier au
niveau des intentions : c’est ça, surtout ; parce qu’il risque de créer des
malentendus, tel quel. Mais, sur l’exigence morale en effet, je suis totalement
d’accord, et sur tout ce qu’il dit, encore une fois, au niveau des différences entre les
uns et les autres, la nécessité de les mettre en rapport, de les prendre en compte,
et de les vivre charnellement, je dirais…
ChJ – Moi, je trouve que c’est un très beau texte…
FJ – Oui, oui…!”
***
*5-5-1986, Auroville:
Nervously and physically I seem to be rather low, dragging on… I bet that, should I
see a doctor, he’d find a number of things badly wrong; but then there’s no point to
it; it is something else… More and more I am learning to dispense with vital
energies; and so, externally, I loose personal interest in most of what presents
itself and I feel also less able to cope energetically with any of it, unless there are
no interferences and I can find my own rhythm… I do believe that I am being
taught: despite all the drawbacks, the blank and bleak moments of helplessness, I
feel a growing trust in that process…
*8-5-1986, Auroville:
I have a hard time with the heat this year; often my eyes are burning, my scalp
aches and my skin itches, and all the small blood vessels seem to want to burst at
the seams, and I only feel alright at home, drawing or painting or reading… As
there is no imperative need for me to stay at “Ravena” very long, I have no guilty
feelings, for the moment…!
*9-5-1986, Auroville:
Back from “Sri Ma” beach where I took Ar. and Samuel this afternoon; the time is
drawing nearer when he will leave, with Soaz and Gwen, back to France: just one
more week. I took many pictures of him today. I do not know what is best for him.
I cannot insist one way or another… But he has been such a gift for me…! For which
I am so grateful.
… The wind has turned; it is 38° in the shade…
*11-5-1986, Auroville:
If I lie outside at night, on the terrace, I keep starting and jumping awake as
cockroaches and big black ants come to bite me, really as if “on purpose”; il I lie
inside behind the screens, it gets stifling hot and I am soon drenched; if I let one