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control the fever and fight the infection; he said also that the damage to the left
side of the body included half of the brains and part of the head, but that this was
not irreversible and there were chances to revive it all once the infection was
cured… These findings somehow lightened the atmosphere, and we were all
cheerful this evening, teasing Janaka who was making all sorts of funny sounds in
reply; it is helpful to know what it is we are fighting against…!
This morning was also interesting for me personally, because I found that I was
able to pass calm physically, while centring on Your Presence, with my hands – as I
have always been able to put a child to sleep, the same seems to happen with
Janaka, and it makes me feel grateful…
*16-9-1986, Auroville:
Just after midnight, Li Mei and Gupi had their baby boy.
*19-9-1986, Auroville:
D.M sees what goes on in Janaka as a battle between the dark and the true; I see
what she sees but I comprehend it in a different way, not as an opposition; it is
rooted in a different space. To me, each of them in a particular way is steeped in
notions that I find often shallow and misleading, about karma, truth and falsehood,
and about Your Work and our position in it…
Sometimes I just want to say “good bye” to all of this soup, however “luminous” a
soup it may be… But I stay on because I feel there are behind all this, still
imprisoned but clear and pulsing and vibrant, a true and genuine Need, and much
beauty and commitment…
Dr Rao came again this evening at my request, and this time D.M got more of a
resolve to administer these medicines to Janaka and ignore or break through that
rather nasty game that part of him is sometimes playing…
*20-9-1986, Auroville:
Janaka has refused to continue with the Ayurvedic treatment. So, this is one more
“secondary help” out of the way… But he was also somehow quieter today, and D.M
cheered up. It is then in Your hands only…? I do not know how much of their
awareness is needed for Your Action to be effective; I know nothing. But the
situation itself, regardless of its causes, is now just one obvious call…
Yet, how many human beings on earth at this very moment are in such extreme
physical misery…? Something else than the fact of it must be involved, something
which I can only term awareness…
*21-9-1986, Auroville:
Janaka sleeps a lot, has much less pains and is much less agitated; the fever has
also decreased and only comes briefly…
*22-9-1986, Auroville:
Through Gupi, and my own petty foolishness, I was reminded this evening of that
pain that has only been buried inside me, of the separation from my princess; for
Gupi, who had played his part and acted against me, seeing me as some adverse
being, has now too a baby…! Will he then understand how hollow were his words, in