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775

- 1988 -

*1-1-1988, Auroville:

Before dawn I had tea with Su at her house. Then we walked over to the

amphitheatre and sat watching the Fire: tall and full yellow flames sparkling and

waving; all was quiet, although Su was restless within, at first.

When the fire slowed and the daylight gently spread I left alone and went to pick

roses at the Camp garden, and brought them to Krishna at his house; it woke him

up; he was happy, and so was I. We sat quietly for over an hour; when there is

peace and trust, what is between us is what I truly want, and it belongs to You…

*2-1-1988, Auroville:

I can see that there might be a more positive attitude, from which I’d take it as a

work to be with such or such person and to offer whatever takes place between us;

but there’s a terrible lack of interest: it is like seeing the old worn-out ropes behind

the scene; to speak is to make noise, and to look at one another is to be caught in

the very falsity of a matter that does not respond…

*3-1-1988, Auroville:

At some important level I remain unable to break through the sorrow of being

separated from Auragni, and from that relationship; as if there’s no other

relationship that can ever make up for its loss, for it is the one that could have

opened the world for me – to watch and discover it all from her eyes as well, in the

security of our bond…

*4-1-1988, Auroville:

The light these days is so pure and clean and radiant and lovely; the air is crisp;

every leaf and blade of grass is vivid and joyful and calm… the magic time of the

year…!

*6-1-1988, Auroville:

I met F on the road and we had a long talk about the problem he is facing in

Auroville, now; it seems that some of what is called “the French group” (P.M among

them) have accused him of dealing with drugs and informed the Administrators on

him, who are now refusing to guarantee his visa, even though they admit to having

no proof whatsoever… Generally the stories go on, and the grooves must be pretty

worn out, but no one seems to mind repeating the circles…