779 / 1424
779
*30-1-1988, Auroville:
Ar.’s plan to build a new house isn’t working out, as F isn’t willing to give her
enough money for it. And she’s been considering not having to leave, if she can find
her way here and if I remain open enough…
*31-1-1988, Auroville:
I find that I have somehow dropped back into a condition that is open to ordinary
formations, after a period of rather sustained orientation… I feel sorry for these
lapses, for the poverty that allows it to happen; but I also understand that it isn’t
personal, in the sense that I must acknowledge, beyond ego, the materials of the
work – the particular arrangement of elements, states, vibrations, mechanisms and
sub-consciousnesses that together constitute what “I” am…
Living examples are supremely useful for the sake of one’s progress, as magnets to
the way ahead and concrete proofs of its possibility… But whenever one gets into
that silly act of comparing, these examples are soon misused and may even
become detrimental to the very progress one has to make…
*3-2-1988, Auroville:
C has written that my grand-father seems to be leaving his body; I had felt that he
would hold on, had my coming there been confirmed, until we could meet. But as it
is not happening, he may have found that it is now time… I have tried to
concentrate for him… You know.
*5-2-1988, Auroville:
Your A is flowing all the time, and a peaceful gratitude is there, answering…
I love You.
Nothing is really at its place, but that is so for the whole world, and where it is all
going is the Supreme’s outlook, isn’t it…?
… I am happy because throughout this day You have given me a peaceful and
receptive energy, just like an island of perceptive calm and A in the midst of
chaos… And the weather itself is so gorgeous…
Yet other things also came in; there was a great sudden sadness, a sorrow welling
up when, from inside a shop in town, I watched an elephant beggar: the elephant
stand before the shop and the owner goes out with money it takes it in its trump
and then blesses the man by touching the top of his head, all the while its two
ancient eyes, non-human eyes, gazing… I couldn’t explain, it all felt like… such a
betrayal, as if seeing all the way down time, to this present moment of mechanised
human multitude, loud and ugly, and this single beast surviving…
*8-2-1988, Auroville:
More than ever, perhaps due to this perfect weather, I experience gratitude for the
material harmony You give me constantly, the peace and the protection… At times
it is like a contented child nuzzling in trusted arms, and looking out at the world
from that perfect security of beauty and rhythm…
… Larry came to see me at “Ravena”; he was in a weird state, stunned, or perhaps
more accurately, “stoned”, and it wasn’t easy to cope with his presence, gentle
though it was, or seemed to be; he wanted to get more involved; he copied,
laboriously, all my accounts; and I am told that, after I had left, late morning, he